Page 72

Wait, what?

Ford wasn’t here. Instead, I was draped in a blanket with my clothes neatly folded on the coffee table beside a stack of letters tied together in brown string. I furrowed my brows and tucked the blanket tighter around my shoulders as I scooted forward on the couch.

Some of the envelopes had become a shade of yellow, others the ends were curled and worn, while some seemed to barely be holding together anymore. The whitest were on top, to the most frayed on the bottom, andI cautiously reached for the ominous pile. Carefully, I slid the stack to me and slid the twine off the center of the envelope.

My name, neatly scrawled in Ford’s slightly messy handwriting, stared back. With a tug of the string, the bow quickly fell away, and I sifted through the large stack of letters. Upon every single envelope was my name. As I made it further into the pile, the writing became a bit more faded, with many of the letters smudged across the paper.

The bottom few were so worn, I was barely able to make out my name addressed on the center of the envelope. Or maybe it was the tears misting my vision. There had to be years of letters here, all holding something Ford had desired to share with me but never had the chance to.

My hands trembled as I held the oldest letter, creased in the middle as if it’d been folded and unfolded countless times. Stains littered the paper on both sides, reds and browns, smudges of fingers, and things that held stories I wasn’t privy to because of cruel lies that had ripped us apart.

Part of me wished I’d had the chance to tell him that I’d have given up being a doctor if that had meant I’d have been able to be with him. He’d left to protect me and make sure I was able to pursue my dream, when in reality, it had only been a means to make sure I could go anywhere in this world with him. Doctors were needed everywhere, right?

A wet tear slithered down my cheek, and I quickly swiped it away with the back of my hand. Now was not the time to wallow in self-pity or what could have beens. Now, I needed to gather up the beautiful knives that Ford had made for me, these letters, and somehow sneak back into the house without anyone realizing that I’d been gone all this time. As well as get changed and get Azelie to the starting line for the race.

Getting to the house was the easy part, and I knew how to sneak into Ford’s room through the window. It was the fact that if Azelie were in the room and saw me climb in through his window, we’d have a major problem. But, coming up with some excuse to Azelie was easier than trying to explain to my parents and Ford’s parents where I’d been.

Fuck it. Whatever happened, I’d deal with, especially since it wasn’t like I was trying to hide whatever Ford and I were doing now. It just may not have been the best…timing, considering the heartbreak our daughter was dealing with last night.

With a final glance at the stack of envelopes, I quickly tied them back up and snatched up my neatly folded clothes. The blanket slid from my shoulders as I stood, and I winced at the stretch and abrupt movement.

Gritting my teeth, I attempted to shove down the soreness between my legs as I stepped into my underwear and leggings. He’d never left me with this intensity of an ache before, but then again, it had been quite some time since my last sexual excursion, and Ford wasn’t exactly…small by any means.

I bit down on my bottom lip, smiling to myself as memories from last night flooded my mind. Yep. I would certainly accept being sore like this if it meant spending even a smidge of quality time with him again. Abso-fucking-lutely.

Once dressed, I carefully gathered the stack of envelopes and made the mindless journey back to the bedroom window I’d snuck in countless times before. Well, it was either now or never, and I pressed against the upper left-hand corner of the window. With a pop, the barricade unlatched, and I slid it open with barely a squeak.

As silent as the moon rising in the sky at night, I folded myself in half and snuck into the completely still and empty room. Relief flooded my shoulders, whisking away the worry of confessing to Azelie that I’d spent the night blissfully happy while I’d been unable to take away any of the pain she’d been experiencing.

With both of my feet firmly on the floor in Ford’s room, I slid the window back into place with a click, and hearing the faint chatter of voices speaking outside the closed door, I wandered over to my duffel.

And paused.

There, stacked beside my bag, was another tidy pile of envelopes. Nearly as high as the one I carried, these also seemed to go from newest to most worn and faded, tied together with another brown twine.

Kneeling beside the bag, I slid a hand over the side of the letters. Ridges of paper bumped beneath my palm as I read my name in the center of the top envelope, written in Ford’s handwriting. A knot welled up in my chest as I placed the stack I held beside that one. All these years… He’d written me letter after letter, despite knowing I’d married someone else. Despite the lies, the pain, he’d never stopped thinking of me and caring for me.

Who was I to deserve a love made for the movies? Who was I to be a part of a painting even I couldn’t create with a romance so precious and perfect, regardless of all the anguish between us? But my hand itched to pick up a brush for the first time since Ford had left. I desired an easel and a spring breeze where time wasn’t ticking onward to doom. I hadn’t painted or drawn a thing since I was eighteen, because my muse had left. But he was back, and that dam that had stifled my creativity seemed to have broken wide open.

I smiled to myself and closed my eyes. I knew that O’Connor was still a threat, and no matter how strong Ford was, we were all still in danger. But the worry I’d been consumed with about O’Connor was completely absent. We had this. Ford would take care of me, no matter the cost.

Now, I needed to quickly get dressed in my running gear, go snag at least a muffin and banana or something from the kitchen, and drive Azelie to the starting point for the race. No matter how brokenhearted she was, I prayed that at least us doing this run together would help brighten her spirits.

Chapter 31

COLETTE

“There,” I said with a smile as I snapped the last pin in place, securing Azelie’s racing number to her tank. She wore her cross-country uniform, as everyone on her team would be. I’d quickly thrown on a simple, black compression tank and pair of shorts, hoping to blend in but give Azelie the support she needed.

She barely looked at me as her eyes darted around the forming crowd. Chattering filled the bright morning air. The starting line was already packed full with teenagers and runners alike, all here in support of a small-town school that barely had funding for a decent education. I prayed that all the proceeds gained during this was enough to help give the school some much-needed upgrades. But mostly, I hoped for Azelie’s sake that sophomore year wouldn’t start with such a heavy heart as she carried now.

“If you’d rather meet up with your friends and—” I started, but Azelie spun around with a scowl andcrossed her arms.

“Friends? You mean Macy, because Cory hasn’t even sent a text, and Macy is running with Thomas after he took her to the dance last night. So no, Mom. I don’t want to meet up with so-called friends,” she snapped.

That was on me. I should’ve known better than to even bring it up, seeing as she’d not said a word other than yes or no to me this morning, and her eyes were still puffy from crying last night. I wished I could make it better. I wished I could take all her heartbreak away, but I knew that wasn’t possible.

“You’re right, sweetheart. I’m sorry,” I gently said, and the tension creasing lines on Azelie’s face slipped away. Her bottom jaw trembled briefly, and she ran the back of her hand beneath her nose with a sniffle.