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“Hey,” he says, pulling me into his arms. “It’s okay. We don’t have to do the nursery yet.”
He guides us out of the room and shuts the doorbehind him, and it’s only then I feel like I can somewhat breathe again. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me, but I think I need to do some serious soul-searching to figure it out. One thing I know for sure is that everything I thought I knew…I don’t know.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I appreciate you trying to help.”
“Stop,” he says gently, sitting on the couch and pulling me down next to him. “It’s all good. Nothing has to be done now.”
Nate wraps his arms around me, and I settle into his side, resting my head on his chest and exhaling a relieved breath. When I’m in Nate’s arms, everything else seems to fade away.
“I just found out I have to go to San Diego tomorrow to handle a few issues with a hotel expansion,” he says after a few minutes. “I was going to send Valerie, but she’s heading to Vegas.”
“How long will you be gone for?” I ask, trying not to sound disappointed at the fact that Nate is leaving.
“I’m hoping for only a few days.” He kisses my temple. “I was thinking we could have a quiet night in. How about I run you a bath to help you relax, and then I’ll order us some food?”
“That sounds perfect.”
While Nate runs the bath, I grab a drink of water, take my vitamins, and then meet him in the bathroom.
The tub is filled with bubbles, he’s lit a couple of candles, and the book I’m currently reading is sittingon the edge, waiting for me.
“I used your lavender bubbles since you said it’s the one that helps calm you,” he says while I strip out of my clothes.
“Thank you,” I tell him, overwhelmed by the patience Nate shows me.
He doesn’t get annoyed with me—ever. He simply loves me the way I am and wants me to be happy. It’s not something I’ve experienced in my previous relationships, which makes it hard to accept.
With Nate’s help, so I don’t risk slipping and falling, I step into the tub and slide down. Once I’m settled in the warm water, he gives me a quick kiss and disappears so I can relax.
I pick up my book and turn to the page I left off on, reading the first sentence, but several minutes later, I find I still haven’t gotten past that same sentence, stuck in my own thoughts, trying to figure out why I’ve felt so off lately.
I started the year feeling alone, unsure of what the future held. I was in a toxic relationship with a selfish man I should’ve broken up with months before I did.
But eight months later, I’m in a healthy relationship with someone who loves me and makes me a priority. I have an actual relationship with my dad that I didn’t think would ever happen, and I’ve gained so many friends and family—including Nate’s mom, who I absolutely adore.
Rather than spending fifty hours a week at work,I find myself wanting to be at home with Nate. I look forward to our time together, whether it’s cuddling on the couch, watching a movie, or going away for the weekend.
Spending time with our families and friends this weekend was absolute perfection. Everyone got along and the baby shower was more than I could’ve hoped or dreamed for.
For the first time, I feel like my life is full of so much good, yet I still feel off, and I can’t quite pinpoint why that is.
“You look like you’re doing the opposite of relaxing,” Nate says, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I glance up at him leaning against the doorjamb with his arms crossed casually over his chest and his brown eyes filled with love and concern, and my heart squeezes in my chest. Nate is such a good man. He’s smart and selfless. He cares about those around him, and he’s going to make such a wonderful husband and father.
“I’m just thinking,” I say, closing my book and setting it down.
Nate comes over and kneels next to me, reaching for the loofah and squirting some soap onto it. He dips it into the water and then, lifting my legs slightly, runs the loofah along my leg, starting at my shin and working his way up my thigh. He stops when he gets to the apex of my legs and starts all over again with the other leg.
As he runs the loofah up my leg, I close my eyesand lean my head back, enjoying the way he takes care of me. My body is tired, my brain is exhausted, but my heart feels so full, and I know that’s because of Nate.
“I don’t want you to go,” I admit softly as he runs the loofah over my belly. “I know you have to, but I’m going to miss you.”
Nate continues washing me, focusing on my breasts and then my neck and arms.
“I don’t want to leave either,” he admits. “I never minded traveling before, but now, I dread it.”
His movements stop, and when I open my eyes, I find him staring at me.