Page 31

Since the book club discussion was interrupted and the mood has been ruined, we agree to have it anotherday. We all munch on the food while the kids play, and after we eat, I tell everyone I’m going to head home.
“Are you sure?” Ana asks. “You could stay here. We have a guest room.”
“I really appreciate that,” I tell her, grateful to have such wonderful friends. “But I think I need some time alone to think about everything.”
“I’ll keep looking,” Julian says. “There are thousands of pictures on there.”
“Thank you. I’m going to look as well,” I say even though the chances of finding him are slim.
When I get home, I call the hotel and ask to speak to a manager. I explain my situation and ask if they could see if a Nate stayed there.
The woman is nice, but she’s no help because even if she could search by the first name, due to privacy laws, she can’t give out anyone’s information.
After I’ve changed into my pajamas, I get comfortable on the couch and pull the site up that Julian told me about. I upload one of the photos, and while I scroll through picture after picture of men who aren’t Nate, I cry. And when I feel like I’m all cried out and still haven’t found Nate, I close my laptop and take a deep breath.
This might not be how I wanted to raise a baby, but this is the reality of my situation. And it could be worse. I own a beautiful house, I have a great career, and I am more than capable of taking care of this baby. And I’ll do everything in my power to make sure he orshe is loved enough for me and Nate.
At the thought of Nate smiling, laughing, and begging me to give him a chance, I start to cry again.
This is my fault. I’m growing Nate’s baby in my belly, and because I refused to exchange information, he’ll never know.
That leads me to crying again.
Tomorrow, I tell myself. Tomorrow, I’m going to stop crying and deal with my reality.
But tonight, I’m going to cry.
chapter twelve
NATE
“If I haveto hold your hand every step of the way, I might as well appoint myself operations manager and save the company thousands on what we pay you. Next time, do as Valerie told you, and this won’t happen.”
I press the speaker button on the office phone and slam the receiver down, ending the call.
“Is he fucking serious? I explicitly told him that I needed that meeting set for this week.”
“Actually, you barked it,” Dustin says dryly. “The same way you’ve been barking orders for the past two months since you got back from London.”
I give him a look that would send others scrambling out of the room, but my brother isn’t the least bit affected.
“If people would do their jobs—” Speaking of which…“Where is Nolan?” I glance around for my assistant, who seems to be MIA.
“He’s probably hiding from you, like the rest of thestaff is,” Dustin drawls. “And stop your bullshit and save it for someone who doesn’t know you.”
He leans back and threads his fingers behind his head—his telltale sign that a lecture is coming. I might be the eldest and the COO, but that won’t stop my brothers from putting me in my place when need be.
“When are you going to accept that you fell for this woman and go after her?” he asks. “I get it. You agreed to no-strings with her, and you want to respect her decision, but, Jesus, bro, you can’t continue like this. You’re alienating everyone around you with your moodiness, and this isn’t how we run the company.”
“He’s not wrong,” Carmine says, strolling in since the door was partly open. He has a seat in the visitor chair next to Dustin and throws his ankle onto his knee. “I just caught Courtney crying to Nolan in the break room. Something’s gotta give. If you need time…”
“Fuck that.” Dustin scoffs. “He’s had two damn months. He needs to either move the hell on or find her ’cause this moody bullshit isn’t cutting it. The employees are noticing and starting to talk.” He hits me with a pointed look. “This is not you, Nate. You’re not the asshole who yells at women and makes them cry.”
Fuck, he’s right. I know he is. But I can’t help it. Since Paige walked out of my life, I’ve been on edge, annoyed at the situation, and taking it out on everyone around me.
“And what is he going to do when he does find her?” Carmine argues.
“I don’t know.” Dustin throws his arms up. “But he needs to do something because the vibe in this place is not it.”