Page 164

She watches me carefully, her blue eyes unreadable. Then, after a second, she crosses the room and lowers herself ontothe cushioned bench across from me. She tucks her legs up beneath her, pulling the sleeves of my sweatshirt over her hands.
I’m reminded of her first night as Robbie’s nanny. The night in my home office.
The first night we kissed and almost…
I should say something.
But I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to say.
Annie studies me, then leans her head back against the bench. “You’re freaking out.”
I let out a slow breath, rubbing a hand along my jaw. “That obvious?”
She gives me a look. “About the same as I felt yesterday.”
I sigh, dragging my hand down my face. And I’d poked and prodded at her until she told me what was wrong. Before she was ready to. “Listen, I’m sorry about the way I pushed you yesterday. I should have just given you the space and time you needed.”
She just shakes her head. “I get it. It’s frustrating being on the outside.”
I nod.
She doesn’t press me for more. Just waits.
The wind slams against the glass, rattling the panes. The rain continues its relentless assault. The entire island feels like it’s beingswallowed whole by the storm, and yet, somehow, this moment between us feels separate from all of it.
Finally, I force myself to speak. “I don’t know how to do this, Annie.”
She blinks, her expression softening slightly. “Do what?”
I let out a quiet, humorless laugh. “Any of it. Be a father. Be good at it. I mean… Jesus. Look at me.” I shake my head. “I was a complete stranger to Robbie until a few months ago. I have no idea what I’m doing with him, and now I’m supposed to do it all over again?”
I lean back against the bench, staring up at the glass ceiling, watching the rain streak across it. “What if I can’t do it? What if I screw it up?”
She doesn’t answer right away. Instead, she shifts, resting her elbow on the arm of the bench, propping her chin in her hand. “What was it like?” she asks, voice quieter now. “When you found out about Robbie?”
I hesitate. “It was…” I shake my head, exhaling. “I don’t know. A punch to the gut. A wake-up call. I was blindsided. It took me a while to wrap my head around it.”
Annie nods like she understands. “And now?”
I glance at her, then look away, staring at the rain again. “Now I can’t imagine my life without him.”
A small smile tugs at her lips, but she doesn’t say anything.
I drag a hand through my hair, my fingers tightening briefly again at the back of my neck.
“Robin wanted kids.”
Annie’s expression shifts, her features softening. She doesn’t say anything, just watches me carefully.
I let out a breath, staring out at the storm. “We were waiting. We kept saying ‘someday.’ We got married, I was busy with Silver Screen, she was busy with work. Any time we took off was about us, traveling, just being a couple. We wanted to enjoy a few years of just being together. And then…”
My jaw tightens. “We found out she was pregnant. I was terrified, but she was so happy. So ready to be a mom.”
I shrug. “And then… she only got to be one for a few minutes.”
The words feel heavy, final.
I don’t talk about Robin much. Not because I don’t think about her—I do. Every damn day. But because it never feels like there’s a point. It doesn’t change anything.