Page 27

“Hey,” her voice is soft, hesitant. Likely because I’ve been a distant prick on the bus. “I got you the gummy worms you like.”
She did what now?
I stare at the bag and then at her. Something about the simple gesture sends a sharp, unexpected pain through me. The fact that she noticed and cared enough to remember makes me feel like a pathetic asshole for the way I’ve acted.
I definitely don’t deserve kindness right now.
Justine holds the bag of worms out for me.
“Thanks,” I mumble and head into the store. Stupidly, I turn around to see if she’s watching me, and she is. Even through the glass, I can see disappointment etched on her face. She turns and heads toward the bus, leaving with my tail between my legs.
“You’re such an asshole,” I mutter to myself as I walk up and down the aisle.
I’m the last to get back on the bus. As I step on, I laugh, thinking how funny it would be if they left without me. The sucky part would be not having my guitar and my clothes, but also how it could be an adventure to be lost or stuck in some town where you don’t know anyone. I could go back to playing gigs at local dive bars and just be me.
The guy I used to be before my sister convinced me to join the band.
Be the person I was before I fell for Nola.
I walk past everyone without giving them a second glance and head upstairs to the lounge where my guitar is. My phone vibrates in my pocket.
Elle
Getting high is a new thing . . .
I stare at the screen and contemplate how I should respond. With my sister, honesty is the best policy.
I’m wound tight and need to relax. Besides, you’re not my mom
She responds right away.
Elle
As I tell all my musicians, only buy from a cannabis store. I don’t need you guys getting something laced. As your sister, I’ll tell mom just to piss you off. Don’t smoke on the bus, it’s against our contract. Remind everyone.
Roger that.
Upstairs, I walk by the bunks, hoping I’m not disturbing anyone, and head to the lounge where my guitar is. Justine and Priscilla are in there, watching TV.
“Do you want us to leave?” Priscilla asks.
“No, you’re fine,” I tell them as I glance at Justine. She smiles sheepishly.
I sit down, grab my guitar, and strum a few chords before writing down some words floating around in my mind.
Why’d you go / where’d you hide / was I blind / was I blind?
The door closes, and I look around to see who came in, only to find Priscilla has left.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” I say to Justine. “I’m going through some shit, and I snapped at you. I appreciate you buying the worms for me.” I rip the bag open and offer them to her.
“It’s okay,” she says as she puts her small, delicate hand inside. She hands me one and takes one for herself.
“What’s your favorite candy?”
“Caramel coffee cold brew M&M’s.”
“That’s a flavor?”