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“I’m not?” A melting sensation coils in my chest.
He shakes his head. "Secondly…” He gives me a considering look. “By someone like ‘me,’ you mean?—”
Oh shoot, he wants me to spell it out. I could try to backtrack, but that would only make me seem indecisive.Okay then. I’ve opened this particular door, and I’m going to have to walk through it. “Surely, you’re aware of your appeal?”
“My. Appeal?” There’s surprise in his voice.
“You come from a moneyed background, and you look like you walked off the pages of a fashion magazine. Not to mention, you’re magnetic and so darned chiseled, you could have any woman you want.” I wave my hand in the air. “I assumed you were a rake.”
“You assumed I’m morally ambiguous and a womanizer who doesn’t care for commitment, based on how I look?”
I flush further. “I don’t mean—”Argh!I deflate a little. “You’re right; thatiswhat I meant. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” he says softly. “You’re right that I've never lacked for female company. And yes, I have dated women.”
A hot sensation squeezes my stomach. Of course, he’s been with other women. And he’s honest about it, which is a good sign, right? Still, jealousy flares—sharp and unexpected. I have no claim on him. But God, I want one.
“But I’m not with them,” he says quietly. “I’m here. With you.”
His gaze burns into mine. “You’re breathtaking. There’s a kind of light in your face that doesn’t belong to this world—and your body…” He exhales, as if steadying himself. “It calls to me in ways I can’t explain. I won’t pretend I don’t want you. I do. Every inch of you.”
His expression is filled with need. But there’s restraint in the way he holds himself, reverence. “But what I feel for you isn’t just desire. It’s deeper. It’s real. And I don’t want to tarnish that by rushing into something physical when what’s growing between us could be…everything.”
“Oh.” The jealousy recedes. That melting sensation in my chest spreads to my extremities.
I search his face and realize he is serious. It makes me realize, I misjudged him. I had him pegged for the stereotypical alpha male who’d simply take what he wants and be done with me, but he’s actually a decent human being who finds me intriguing enough to want to get to know me better.
Somewhere deep inside, I didn’t think I was worthy of his spending the time to get to know me before he tried to sleep with me. I thought I was over the biases that a lifetime of being singled out for my curvy figure has thrust on me. And normally, I’m a confident person. I’ve learned to love myself. I’ve learned to be comfortable in my own skin. All those who bullied me for my curves were projecting their insecurities onto me. I know that now. But meeting this man and feeling this fierce attraction to him, seems to have brought a fresh layer of insecurity to the surface. Seems like this time, it's me who's projecting my story onto him. He’s made it clear he loves my body. His words make me feel like I’m the most beautiful woman in the world. And the way he made me come was… Unexpected, to say the least.
Tingles of pleasure still course through my body from how I orgasmed. I’m a tad disappointed that he doesn’t want to spend the night having wild sex. Which is crazy, because I just told myself I’m not going to jump into bed with him.So why am I finding fault with him for mirroring that same sentiment to me.
"Umm… I’m…not sure how to respond to that," I finally offer.
The skin around his eyes creases. I must have said something right, for his lips quirk. "I really do want to get to know you better." He reaches for my hand again and laces his fingers through mine.
Once more, little pinpricks of awareness stream out from the point of contact. His unmatched eyes flash, and I know he feels this weird chemistry between us, too. And when he licks his lips, I’m sure he can taste my cum.Heat blooms in my chest. My scalp tingles. That was even more erotic than feeling his lips on mine. Almost.
The notes of the acoustic version of "Come Here" by Kath Bloom begin to play overhead. It’s heartfelt and evocative. The emotions in her voice. The yearning. The feeling. A flicker of something electric dances beneath my skin. I can’t say if it’s the plea in the words or the fact that she says that you don’t have to run away… Or perhaps, it’s the promise in his eyes. That burn of lust mixed with the sweet longing that I sense in him, which mirrors this hankering in mine. My instinct tells me this is a once-in-a-lifetime connection. My logical mind tells me that’s crazy.
Yet, something deeper in me, that primitive part of me, overrides everything else. "I do want to get to know you better"—I hesitate—"but…"
"But?"
"Also, I feel weird about this. We just met today, you took me out for coffee, and then…"I trail off.
"The orgasm," he completes my statement.
I flush. "There’s that," I agree in a steady voice. It was an incredible orgasm, too. And yes, I let a man who I met only a few hours earlier go down on me. I could claim I got carried away, but it's more than that. I feel a real connection here. But what if I'm reading too much into it? What if?—?
"I’d love to make you come again and again. I’d love to take you to bed and complete what we started but…I do want to get to know you better first." His gaze holds mine.
That awareness thrumming between us shoots up a notch. It makes me want to throw caution to the wind and tell him yes.Yes!And yet…I hesitate. It’s not that I don’t feel safe with him. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here. The way he helped me on the train earlier ensured we're past that first barrier of not trusting… Which is why I agreed to have coffee with him.But to spend more time with him?My heart leaps within my chest.Damn, I really want this.But also, it feels momentous to agree. Like if I did, my life would change forever, which is crazy…Right?
When I stay quiet, he leans in and fixes those stunning mismatched eyes on me. "Think about it this way. Twenty years down the line, when you’re unhappy with someone else, you’ll always wonder how it could've been if you’d said yes to spending the night with me."
The confidence in his voice makes me huff out a laugh. "What if I’m very happy with this hypothetical significant other?"
"You’re not," he growls.