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“You had your reasons for agreeing to go through with that potential arrangement. And that’s your prerogative. You had every reason to move on after I asked you to leave that day. I left it open. It’s not like I made you any promises, either, I’m aware. But… You have to know, that connection we had when we met was…Isreal. I still feel it, Cilla.”
She folds her hands in her lap, her expression both confused and tormented. “It’s true, we had a connection. But after all these months… After your silence—” She shakes her head. “I’ve had to try a lot of things to move on, Tyler. It wasn’t easy, but I have tried.”
“Did you succeed?”
She looks torn, then looks down and slowly shakes her head—it's barely perceptible—but not before I catch a glimpse of her watery eyes.
And I hate myself for it, but at the same time, a load rolls off my shoulders. I draw in a breath and my lungs burn. I feel so relieved, my head spins. That’s when I know, I need to find a way to keep this woman in my life. I have to. I can’t lose her again. I was a dickhead to let her go. Then… Not reaching out to her? Sure, my life has been taken over by Serene and coming to grips with being a new father, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that I didn't bother reaching out to Cilla, when Iknewshe felt the same connection that I did.
Maybe a part of me assumed she’d wait for me. That when the time was right, I’d reach out to her and apologize, and everything would be fine. But seeing her almost marry someone else was a shock, a warning that I could lose her at any moment.
I still didn't reach out to her after because—I wasn’t sure what to say to her. I’ve been putting off making the call. But here she is. I ran into her and I’m going to use this opportunity to bring her back into my life. But how?
“Your daycare is in financial trouble, you said?” I ask slowly.
“Yeah. The funding from the local council got cut off. And the donors we had are not sure if they’ll renew their grants. It happens. I’m sure they’ll figure something out.” She doesn’t look that hopeful, though.
And given the cost-of-living crisis, my sense is, it would take a miracle for any kind of funding to be renewed.
“I might be able to help you,” I say slowly.
She tilts her head. “What do you mean?”
“You’re likely going to be out of a job. And I… I need a nanny.”
She blinks slowly.
“And you’ve already met Serene. I’ve seen you with her. You’re good with her. Hell, after seeing the nannies I engaged and how much they were lacking in their childcare experience, you'd be a godsend.”
“I’m not sure I follow…”
I hold her gaze, school my expression into one of earnestness. “Would you consider becoming Serene’s nanny?”
Her jaw drops. “You want me to take the position of Serene’s nanny?”
I nod. “I can no longer trust a stranger to look after her, regardless of their references. And I can’t keep using up the goodwill of my friends’ wives. But I’d trust you with her. I can’t think of anyone else who’d be a better nanny for my daughter.” I try to rein my excitement in.Easy does it. Don’t scare her off.“That is, if you’d consider it?”
A flurry of emotions flashes across her face—first elation, then amazement. It shifts to confusion, and finally, sharpens into anger.
“You know what, Tyler? I can’t make up my mind if you’re being serious. No, Iknowyou’re being serious. I’m sure you think you’re doing me a favor by offering me a job because you think I need it—conveniently for you. And you don’t even realize how insulting it is for me that you offered me this role.”
“Insulting?” I frown. “How can you say that? We can help each other this way, can’t we?”
She throws up her hands. “I thought you weren’t the asshole billionaire that most men in your position are. But honestly, if the fact that you told me fuck off?—”
“I didn’t tell you to fuck off,” I protest.
“It was certainly implied.” She lowers her hands to her sides. “You asked me to leave because yourtinybrain couldn’t cope with all the emotional upheaval you’d gone through.”
“You’re right.” I take in the flush rising in her cheeks, half entranced, half falling all over again for this woman. I’m reminded why I was drawn to her in the first place. Her spirit is a siren call I never stood a chance against. And now… I know I can’t let her slip out of my life.
“You’ll accept the role of Serene’s nanny?” I ask carefully, almost holding my breath.
She leans forward, closing the distance between us so I can make out the individual eyelashes that line her eyes.
Then she tips up her chin. “Absolutely not.”
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