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“What I didn’t tell you is that mom…” I choose my words carefully, “really regretted the choices she’d made.”
“Marrying him?”
“Giving up all her control to him. She became obsessed with ‘regaining her power’. She drilled those lessons into me so I wouldn’t make the same mistake.”
Control or be controlled, Cody.
“That’s why you were so driven,” Ris whispers, putting the pieces together.
I park in front of my building. “The only way to have control is to have power. And the only way middle class people like us with no connections could have power is through—”
“Money.”
I nod.
She tucks her curls over one shoulder. “I had no idea.”
“Clay grew up to be a soldier like dad. But I… I inherited my mother’s fears. When I met you, when I fell in love with you, these two voices were clashing in my head. I wanted to keep myself safe. I wanted to love you recklessly. It was a fight.”
“Is it still a fight?” she asks quietly.
“No.”
Her lips curl up.
I’ll love making her smile until the day I’m in the grave.
“The difference between me and mom is that I’m willing to be used by you. I’m willing to lose. I’m willing to take the chance because the other option is living without you, and that’s not the life I want to live.”
“I don’t think that’s it.” Clarissa tilts her head. “The difference between you and your mom is that you chose someone who won’t ever let you lose. Who won’t ever use you. Who won’t ever stop choosing you. Your heart is safe with me, Cody. I’ll keep it right here forever.” She taps her chest. “I promise.”
I squeeze her hand, trusting that she means it.
* * *
Rather than take Clarissa home,I bring her up to the rooftop of my building.
“What are we doing up here?” Clarissa asks, gazing out at the city lights.
“I have something for you.” Her eyes widen when I bring out a velvet box and kneel in front of her. “I was going to do this in a helicopter or back at the island but Joel…”
“Is coming home tomorrow and you want to be close.” She smiles. “You’re such a dad.”
“I always wondered why Clay, Alistair and the rest don’t do anything fun with their money. Turns out, having kids seriously cramps your style.”
She laughs. “No, I don’t need an island or a fancy trip. This is perfect.”
“I’m glad you think so.” I crack the box open. “I love you, Clarissa Maura. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?”
“Ye—Cody…” Her eyes glisten.
I smile, knowing what that reaction is for.
Clarissa plucks something out of the box. It’s a glittering diamond solitaire, but it’s not the reason for the tears cropping in her eyes.
That honor belongs to the item the ring is placed on.
“My heel,” Clarissa gasps. “How do you have this?”