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My eyelashes flutter and I ease back. “Mom. Are you just trying to get me away from Cody?”
“I know you have history with that boy and I can see how you’d be drawn to his…” She glances at the black card that I left carefully on the kitchen table, “assets, but this man is the same one who broke his promise to you ten years ago. It’s too soon to say he can be trusted again. I think some distance would be good for you.”
“Distance isn’t going to stop us from loving each other.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.” Mom gently takes my hand in hers. “But it might stop you from rushing.”
“I’m not rushing.”
“You’re not thinking clearly either. Clarissa, I know you. You get very, very foolish when you love someone. To the point that you make questionable decisions.”
“Mom.”
“Your heart is so pure. So innocent. You’re no match for a calculative billionaire like him.”
“He’s a kind, loving man, mom. You just have to get to know him.”
“I don’t care how kind and loving he is. It’s not a good match.”
“What does that mean?”
“There’s a reason men like him don’t marry girls like us, sweetheart.” She cradles my face.
I pull out of her hold. “If this is about him being white and me being black—”
“It’s not because of skin color. It’s about you two being in very different places in the world.”
My old insecurities crop up as if they’d been lying in wait.
You’re not good enough. See? Even your mom knows.
“Think about it. You help people because of your past. He chases money because of his. The way he thinks, the way he treats people, the way he views himself and the world, it’s intrinsically opposite to the way you do. You have two different values. Love can conquer anything, including racial differences, but it can’t conquer differences in beliefs and values. It just can’t.”
I stay quiet, staring at the blank TV screen.
“At least think about my offer,” mom says.
“I’ll consider it,” I say to get her off my back.
The oven timer beeps.
Mom and I have lunch together and watch a movie. She falls asleep halfway through.
I pause the television and glance at her face. She still looks so young. So full of life. Probably because she’s moving through the world on her own terms. Doing exactly what she wants to do.
‘I want you to have a full security detail’.
Being with Cody won’t be a bed of roses. I know that. We’re already clashing about the future and how to handle the threats we’ll face.
I don’t want to live like a bird in a cage. I want him, but I also want to be free.
Why can’t I forge my own path?
Why does it feel like I have to choose between two extremes?
The silence settles in around me.
I hate having nothing to do. Ms. Phoebe gave me the day off so I could take care of Joel, but I can’t even check my phone to while away the time. I’m tempted to turn the device on, but the gravity in Cody’s voice when he told me not to look at those mysterious articles lingers.