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I turn to my brother, trying to dissect the look on his face. “Are you okay with this?”
He shrugs. “I don’t have an Aidan, Bails. I knew coming here we weren’t going to stay. I’ve been treating it like a nice retreat. But Carnegie’s not going to be all that bad either. It’ll be like here.”
“Except we have to wear uniforms.”
“I know, you’re so attached to your leggings now.”
I shoot him a look, and he lifts his hands. “I’m sorry. I knew you were going to be upset.”
“Aren’t you?”
“Like I said, we’ll still be out on our own, we’ll just be out on our own on a different campus. It really doesn’t matter to me. I’m…” He lifts his hands. “Glad to not have daily probing, if you know what I mean.”
My throat thickens, tears threatening again. I don’t understand why I’m so angry about this. I never thought I’d be able to get away with going here anyway. Maybe Darrin is right. Maybe this is all about Aidan… But if it is, is that so bad? I want to be with him.
I get up and march out the door.
“Bails… Come on, Bails…”
“I need to be alone,” I eke out before running down the steps, racing through the hallway, and throwing myself onto my bed.
I can’t tell if I should be more sad or more angry. Both emotions flicker through me at the rate of rapid Morse code.
In the end, I think I’m more mad at myself. I got the taste of freedom, and now I don’t want to give it up. It might have been better to remain blissfully unaware.
25
AIDAN
I knockon the front door, harder this time. I’m about ready to haul it off the hinges. A minute has passed, and no one is answering, even though the lights are on.
Finally, Darrin yanks the door open, scowling. “I should punch you in the face.”
I step back. Bailey must’ve told him what happened at the river. Or maybe I really did hurt her feelings. “I’m sure I deserve it, but can it wait? I need to talk to your sister.”
Darrin wraps his arms around himself, glaring at me. He and I have always been about the same size, but for some reason, I feel like he’s towering over me, his look of disappointment shortening me by the second.
I try to push past him, but he pushes me back. “We’re not done.”
“What is it? Is Bails here? Will she talk to me?”
“She said she wanted to be alone, but, dude, this isn’t going anyplace good.”
My stomach clenches. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about you and Bailey,” he hisses. “Both of you. You’re going to get hurt. You should break it off now. It’ll be better.”
My heart beats like crazy. “What are you talking about?”
There’s a seriousness in his eyes. His clenched jaw is like a brick wall. “I can’t see her hurt.”
“I’m not going to hurt her. That’s the last thing I would do. Dude, we’re best friends.”
“Which is why I’m asking you to walk away now before it gets more serious than it already is. I just watched my sister have a complete meltdown. I know how bad it can get, bro. The pressure she’s under is fucking real. You’re a complication that will only make it worse.”
A complication? A fuckingcomplication? “Let me fucking talk to her.” He blocks the doorway when I attempt to barge through. “You’re my friend, but I will knock you on your ass.”
The need to fight for Bailey bangs against me, unrelenting.