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“I know. It’s so terrible that you’re hot and funny and nice to me.Wooo. Guess I better find some moody, disheveled stranger and ride his lap.”
I’m midway up the steep path when it levels out and Aidan grabs my hand, turning me to face him. “I mean that the person you do it with should care about you,” he growls out.
My mouth clamps shut. I guess there’s nothing to say to that. He’s made his point. “Wow, okay. We’re perfectly clear on that now.” I give him a mock salute and wiggle out of his grip.
“That’s not what I mean.”
“Like I said, perfectly clear, QB1. I forgot that when you’re with girls, you don’t actually care about them. My bad.”
I cringe after I say it but keep moving, only hearing my own thrashes and deep breaths as I make my way up the trail in complete darkness. At the top, I scramble for my clothes and yank them on.
By the time he comes up the trail, I’m yanking my shirt over my head. I stand there with my arms crossed, avoiding even looking his way. The first tear falls then as I stare out into the dark forest. I wipe it away before he notices and then stomp toward his car.
What an epic fucking disaster.
A few minutes later, Aidan joins me. He starts the engine and backs out without a word.
I’m so lost in my own thoughts that I don’t hear my phone until Aidan says, “You’re vibrating.”
My first reaction is to snap at him, but then I understand what he means. I grab my phone out of his glove compartment where I left it and find a text from Darrin.
Hey, spend the night at Aidan’s, K?
“You’re kidding me,” I mumble.
“What is it?”
I start to type out a text telling Darrin I can’t because Aidan has football in the morning when Aidan asks again. I sigh, putting the finishing touches on the text. “Darrin wants me to spend the night at your place. He must have a girl over or something. I’m going to tell him to fuck off.”
Aidan reaches over and places his hand on mine. “Don’t. It’s fine.”
“I don’t think you want to be near me right now, and I certainly don’t want to be near you.”
“Let him have tonight. I promise, it’s fine. West will be staying over at Kenna’s, so you can sleep in his bed.”
My shoulders deflate. I really want to tell Darrin to forget it, but I’ve been telling him I want space, so if I give it up now, I’ll just look like a flake. “Are you sure?”
“Hundred percent.”
“Fine.”
We drive the rest of the way back to campus in silence. I’m shivering by the time we get there. When he parks, I start to get out, but Aidan reaches over to stop me. “I’m sorry, okay? It isn’t that I don’t care for you. You know I like you. As a friend, obviously. I just…” He breathes out. “I think your first time should be special and not during a whole relationship that we’re faking. We’re getting all mixed up,” he continues. “You’re probably confused. Caught up in the moment.”
Every word he utters drives the knife in deeper. I don’t say that, though. “Yeah. I’m probably just tired. Confused.”Lonely. Horny.
“Come on,” he prompts.
I get out of the car, and someone yells “Yo, QB1!” from across the parking lot. Aidan waves and comes to my side, placing an arm around me. For a moment there, before tonight, this was starting to feel comforting. Even though I knew we were pretending, I liked it.
Now, his touch is like a hot poker branding me with an undesirable mark.
He holds the door to the dorm open for me, and I walk inside. Aidan lifts his hand to greet the guy at the front desk, then he guides me up to his room. We stop outside the ladies’ bathroom. “If you want to start getting ready for bed, I’ll grab you some clothes.”
“Sure.”
It feels like I’m on autopilot as I open the door and step inside to a room filled with stark tile. I curl my lips, wishing I was in my own place. I could be taking a hot bath right now with a bath bomb, some kill-me-now music, and then cuddling in bed with my nice sheets and a favorite movie, trying to forget about tonight.
Instead, I’m in Aidan’s dorm.