Page 48

The air around them hummed with mosquitoes and meadow grasshoppers.

Osric heard a minuscule, croaky voice say, “Ugly boots.”

He stopped and looked around. There was nobody there.

Fairhrim, too, stopped. “Did you say something?”

“No,” said Osric.

“Never mind,” said Fairhrim, though she looked unsettled.

She turned and went on, picking her way along the path with narrow, precise steps.

“Hair up so tight, she can’t even close her eyes,” came a croaky voice again, this time from the other side of the path.

Osric, his blaecblade in hand, whipped around.

There was nothing there save wind-stunted thistles, blowing in the breeze.

Fairhrim stared at the spot where the voice had come from. “That wasn’t you?”

Osric had many talents, but ventriloquism was not one of them. “No.”

“Why’s he so slouchy?” came another raspy voice, from somewhere behind them. “Posture like a damp croissant.”

“She’s got a rod up her arse; dunno what’s better,” replied another. “She’s so…perpendicular.”

“The face on him, though…”

“Like a burst sofa.”

“Look at her eyes.”

“Contents of a portaloo.”

“And his nose?”

“A boil, rather.”

Then a new voice chimed in: “Don’t let them bother you.”

Osric and Fairhrim turned to find a dirty little girl sitting on a stile. Her black hair caught the moonlight. Her clothes were sack-like and held in place by buckles at the elbow and the knee. She swung muddy bare feet as she looked at them. They stared back.

“Sorry—don’t let who bother us?” asked Fairhrim.

“The critique crickets,” said the child. There was a purple flower hanging from her lips; she chewed upon its stem. “What are you doing here?”

Fairhrim’s fingers found Osric’s forearm and squeezed a warning before he could open his mouth. He therefore did not tell the little girl to fuck off with her questions.

“We’re looking for somewhere to do a bit of healing,” said Fairhrim.

The child pointed a grimy finger to the top of the Downs. “That’s a good Somewhere.”

“Thank you,” said Fairhrim.

“It can be dangerous,” said the child.

“Oh?”