Page 95
Story: The Hotel New Hampshire
'You asshole,' Franny said.
'It makes as much sense as anything else,' Frank reasoned.
'You dumb prick,' Franny baited me.
'I think it's rather noble,' Lilly said. 'Small, but noble.'
'He lives in a second-rate whorehouse with people who want to start the world over and he wants to clean up his language,' Franny said. 'Cunthead,' she told me. 'You wretched fart,' Franny said. 'Beat your meat all night and dream of tits, but you want to sound nice, is that it?' she asked.
'Come on, Franny,' Lilly said.
'You little turd, Lilly,' Franny said. Lilly started to cry.
'We've got to stick together, Franny,' Frank said. 'This sort of abuse is not helpful.'
'You're as queer as a cat fart, Frank,' she told him.
'And what are you, honey?' Susie the bear asked Franny. 'What makes you think you're so tough?'
'I'm not so tough,' Franny said. 'You dumb bear. You're just an unattractive girl, with zits -- with zit scars: you're scarred by zits -- and you'd rather be a dumb bear than a human being. You think that's tough? It's fucking easier to be a bear, isn't it?' Franny asked Susie. 'And to work for an old blind man who thinks you're smart -- and beautiful, too, probably,' Franny said. 'I'm not so tough,' Franny said. 'But I am smart. I can get by. I can more than get by,' she said. 'I can get what I want -- when I know what it is,' she added. 'I can see how things are,' Franny said. 'And you,' she said, speaking to us all -- even poor Miss Miscarriage -- 'you keep waiting for things to become something else. You think Father doesn't?' Franny asked me, suddenly.
'He lives in the future,' Lilly said, still sniffling.
'He's as blind as Freud,' Franny said, 'or he soon will be. So you know what I'm going to do?' she asked us. 'I'm not going to clean up my language. I'm going to aim my language wherever I want,' she told me. 'It's the one weapon I've got. And I'm only going to grow when I'm ready to, or when it's time,' she told Lilly. 'And I'm not ever going to be like you, Frank. No one else will ever be like you,' she added, affectionately. 'And I'm not going to be a bear,' she told Susie. 'You sweat like a pig in that stupid costume, you get your rocks off making people uneasy, but that's because you're uneasy just being you. Well, I'm easy being me,' Franny said.
'Lucky you,' Frank said.
'Yes, lucky you, Franny,' Lilly said.
'So what if you're beautiful?' said Susie. 'You're also a bitch.'
'From now on, I'm mainly a mother,' Franny said. 'I'm going to take care of you fuckers -- you, you, and you,' Franny said, pointing to Frank and Lilly and me. 'Because Mother's not here to do it -- and Iowa Bob is gone. The shit detectors are gone,' Franny said, 'so I'm left to detect it. I point out the shit that's my role. Father doesn't know what's going on,' Franny said, and we nodded -- Frank, Lilly, and I; even Susie the bear nodded. We knew this was true: Father was blind, or he soon would be.
'Even so, I don't need you to mother me,' Frank said to Franny, but he didn't look so sure.
Lilly went and put her head in Franny's lap; she cried there -- comfortably, I thought. Franny, of course, knew that I loved her -- hopelessly, and too much -- and so I didn't have to make a gesture or say anything to her.
'Well, I don't need a sixteen-year-old straightening me out,' said Susie the bear, but her bear's head was off; she held it in her big paws. Her ravaged complexion, her hurt eyes, her too-small mouth betrayed her. She put her bear's head back on; that was her only authority.
The student, Miss Miscarriage, serious and well intentioned, seemed at a loss for words. 'I don't know,' she said. 'I don't know.'
'Say it in German,' Frank encouraged her.
'Just spit it out any way you can,' Franny said.
'Well,' Fehlgeburt said. 'That passage. That lovely passage, that ending -- to The Great Gatsby -- that's what I mean,' she said.
'Get to it, Fehlgeburt,' Franny said. 'Spit it out.'
'Well,' Fehlgeburt said. 'I don't know, but -- somehow -- it makes me want to go to the United States. I mean, it's against my politics -- your country -- I know that. But that ending, all of it -- somehow -- is just so beautiful. It makes me want to be there. I mean, there's no sense to it, but I would just like to be in the United States.'
'So you think you'd like to be there?' Franny said. 'Well, I wish we'd never left.'
'Can we go back, Franny?' Lilly asked.
'We'll have to ask Father,' Frank said.
&nbs
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95 (Reading here)
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 150
- Page 151
- Page 152
- Page 153
- Page 154
- Page 155
- Page 156
- Page 157
- Page 158
- Page 159
- Page 160
- Page 161