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The aroma of coffee assaults my nostrils when we step in. The chaos of several dozen conversations at varying levels of volume overwhelm the soft music playing in the background. I stand close to Cade, my gaze darting everywhere. I would never come here on my own. One, I don’t have any money for coffee and a dessert, and two, I usually go right home to Dad.
Fuck…Dad. I check my watch, my heartbeat ratcheting up.It hasn’t been that long, I tell myself.I can tell him I had to go to the library. With any luck, he still won’t be talking to me, so maybe we won’t start a conversation at all. I’ll just be assailed with his sharp looks and jerky movements. My father is the king of saying something without saying anything at all.
“How were your classes today?” Cade asks, rubbing his thumb over my hand where we connect.
“Um…boring? I’m tired.”
“Away games can be kind of tricky like that. You’ll get used to it.”
“What about yours?” I ask. “What kind of schedule does a fifth-year senior have, anyway?”
“Oh, you looked me up?”
My jaw unhinges, but I close it with a snap. “I did, actually. Definitely didn’t think that question through ahead of time.”
“I don’t mind the idea of you researching me. Don’t think I didn’t either. I couldn’t find you on any socials, so I couldn’t even simp over your selfies while you were ignoring my text.”
“I don’t take selfies. I would’ve thought you’d deciphered that about me.”
“Can I take a pic of us now?”
“Now?” My cheeks heat.
“So I have something to stare at when you aren’t around.”
The same heat plummets into my core and expands.
He leans into me. “Please?”
“S-sure.”
Cade doesn’t waste any time pulling his phone out and stretching his arm to get the angle right. I smile automatically. He takes the pic, and I’m desperate to see it when he brings his phone down.
Wow. I bite my lip. I don’t even look like myself in the image. My smile. The way I’m holding on to Cade. A pretty flush evencolors my cheeks, and there’s a spark in my eye. My bathroom mirror never shows these things. My eyes are always dull. Lifeless. My face pulled taut, more like I belong in a mortuary than a college campus.
Cade rubs his thumb over my smile and then pockets his phone again when we move up to the counter. “Carmel latte for me and…” He looks at me expectantly, and I freeze on the spot. I’ve only ever had coffee out of a pot from my house before. I recover as quickly as I can. “Same for me. Please.”
His hand wraps around mine again. “Any of the doughnuts look good to you?”
“Chocolate.”
“Noted,” he says. To the clerk, he confirms, “Add two chocolate doughnuts, please.”
After he pays, we move off to the side near a sign that says Pick Up. I study the counter in front of me so I don’t gawk at all the people in the café and the way they maneuver around and, well, basically have lives. I’m usually on and off campus like a ghost. Classes and football are the only reasons for me to set foot here. I have all the space and relative quiet I need at home.
“Cade?” a girl at the counter announces.
I release his arm so he can grab our stuff. He twists the bag, and I spot a string of numbers. Cade drops his arm immediately and then gives me a tight smile. “One sec, okay?”
He steps in front of me, and all I can see is his lithe form accentuated by his Warner University football jacket. Blue looks good on him. It highlights his dark hair.
Eventually, he spins back around to offer me the coffee I ordered. When I take it, he leans back over the counter. With all the talking in this space, I can’t hear what he says, but eventually, he turns with the bag in one hand and his coffee in the other. “We should go,” he says.
“We’re not going to eat here?”
He shakes his head. “Nah, I don’t feel like getting dirty looks the whole time I’m trying to impress you.”
Dirty looks?Oh. My stomach plummets. I gaze around and see most everyone is looking at us. He’s embarrassed. “I can just go,” I tell him, feeling the weight of everyone’s stares.