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“I’ve found,” he murmured against my hair, his lips so close I could feel their phantom pressure, “that there are momentswhen being a vampire has its advantages. Carrying beautiful, dangerous women across thresholds without breaking a sweat bein’ chief among them.” His eyes glinted with amusement as he carried me through the door, past Tom on the sofa, and up the stairs.

Placing me on the bed, he removed his damp coat from around my shoulders, his hands lingering a moment longer than necessary. His fingertips traced the curve of my collarbone, featherlight, stopping just short of where my pulse hammered at the base of my throat. I pulled the duvet up around me, and despite the dim light, I caught how his eyes traced my face with a quiet reverence that made my heart ache. He stepped back with visible effort, his fingers curling into fists at his sides as he paused and leaned in the doorway.

“Goodnight, my midnight wanderer.” His smile lingered in the darkness.

“Goodnight, Nicholas,” I whispered, but he was already gone. Through tired eyes, I stared at the empty space where he’d been, wondering if he felt the same hollow emptiness spreading through his chest that I did whenever we parted.

22: To Love Oneself is the Beginning of a Lifelong Romance

The bright white winter sun fell through a gap in the curtains, waking me. I lay watching the dust motes dance in the light for a while, systematically assessing the soreness in my muscles, testing and stretching each limb a little at a time. It was hard to say how badly I was hurt without getting up, but nothing on this earth could entice me out of the warmth of my duvet. Except, of course, the need to use the toilet. I forced my poor, aching body out of bed.

Glancing in the mirror as I entered the bathroom was a mistake. I reached blindly behind me and sat down on the edge of the bath, unable to take my eyes from my reflection.

I was a mess of dried blood and dirt, crusty patches flaking away where tears had run down my cheeks. My left cheekbone had swollen up like a balloon, the skin black and tight. The right side of my jaw was turning purple, too – though I didn’t remember the blow – and the flesh was tender beneath my fingers as I gently probed it. Above my eyebrow, a thin cut wasstill weeping.

It wasn’t just my face, either. My right shoulder had turned a deep mauve, blossoming dark ink blots across my collarbone, which must have been more seriously injured than I’d first thought. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed any of this last night – the fire and the adrenaline had obviously been in overdrive – but it explained why Nicholas had seemed so concerned.

Everything crashed in at once – not just the pain, but the memory of the teenage girl’s face. The tears came hot and fast before I could stop them. I’d failed her, whatever Nicholas said. And if it could happen to her… What was I even doing? Fighting monsters until one of them finally killed me, and for what?

My reflection looked back at me, tears leaving fresh white tracks in the grime. But no clarification or relief came from the salty streaks.

I took a deep shuddering breath. The last element of control left to me was to hold back the tears. I’d cried enough.

Tom had been right. I hated it, but when this was over, I’d have some serious questions to ask about how vampires were created, and what we could do about it. Isabel and Nicholas would have to share everything they knew, whether they liked it or not. I couldn’t keep putting my body through this, knowing it was a losing battle.

At some point, I collected myself enough to climb carefully into the shower. The scalding water stung my skin, freeing the strands of hair that were glued into my cuts with dirt and blood. Eventually, the heat forced my muscles to relax, too, and by thetime I stepped out of the tub, the mirror was so fogged with steam that I didn’t have to look at my reflection. I got into a fresh pair of pyjamas, wrapped myself in my softest dressing gown and headed downstairs.

Tom was nowhere to be found. The blanket folded neatly over the end of the sofa told me he’d likely stayed the night, and I made a mental note to thank Nicholas for his discretion. It would only have made things worse for Tom to have seen another vamp in the house.

I curled up in my favourite armchair by the window for a while, watching the clouds roll in and blot the sun from the sky. After a few minutes, the deep, comforting aroma of coffee lured me into the kitchen. Someone had put the coffeepot on a timer, and the carafe was still full. I poured myself a cup and returned to my chair with an ice pack wrapped in an old tea towel pressed to my shoulder – or my face, depending on the moment. It wasn’t long before I began to doze off, but a sharp rap on the door snapped me back to attention.

Adam stood on the top step, leaning on a smart black umbrella and wearing an expression that said the weather had personally offended him.

“I want to go out,” he said abruptly, stepping into the hallway. His eyes narrowed at my face. “What happened to you?”

“Good morning to you too,” I grumbled. He reached past me smoothly, hanging his coat neatly on a peg. The hall filled with the scent of rain and his usual citrus and clove.

“Well?” He paused in the living room doorway, studyingmy bruises. I caught sight of my face in the hallway mirror – most of the swelling had gone down at least, though the bruising painted quite a picture.

Top marks for advanced healing abilities, Erin!

“I’m a hunter, Adam,” I replied. “I get into fights. And what are you doing here, at—” I checked the clock. “Okay, well notthatearly in the morning, but still.”

“The sun is up, so I am alone, and I am bored.” His fingers traced the back of Tom’s usual spot before he settled into it. The faded velvet somehow looked expensive under his touch. “Nick asked me to check on you – quite forcefully, I might add – and I thought we might make an expedition of it.”

I shook my head at him, unable to hide a smile. “Coffee?”

“I’d love some,” he purred.

I grabbed milk and sugar, setting them on an old wooden tray beside two mugs. Filling both from the carafe, I decided to reset the machine for another pot – just in case. When I put everything down beside Adam, he picked up my Wonder Woman mug like it was some kind of priceless antique. His mouth twitched, but he said nothing as he helped himself to milk.

“I want to go out,” he repeated, stirring his coffee delicately. “Do the things you humans do.”

“Yeah, you said. You remember I have a coffee shop to run, right?” I tucked my feet under me, watching him deliberately flatten an invisible wrinkle in his trousers.

“Yes, but since you own the shop, you can… call it a holiday?” His eyes danced as he took a sip. “You also happen to bemy only friend.”

“I’m not saying I can’t, but—” I thought of the research party I’d missed last night. I wasn’t sure I could justify a day trip with Adam, but he was already making me feel guilty.