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As I straightened up, he was smiling – but there was sadness in it. “It shouldn’t be easy. We know what you are, after all. But I have known Nick for years, and already I can see the change in him sincehe met you.” He fixed me with an intent look. “After so long searching, it would be a pity if I had to watch him lose you for the sake of the person he used to be.”

I pursed my lips. “I don’t see the monster when I look at him,” I admitted. “But some things are hard to forget… And the other night – I know you know I was there. Outside the club—” I couldn’t speak.

“He will always be a vampire. He can’t help that.” Adam shrugged. “But she didn’t die, you know – the woman. I accompany Nick when I can, and he finds it easier to control himself when I’m there to keep an eye on him.”

“She’ll still be traumatised for the rest of her life.”

He laughed. “You underestimate Nick’s allure, I think.”

“Trust me, I don’t,” I muttered to myself, pulling my bag onto my shoulder. I pushed a hand through my hair, missing my hat.

I changed the subject. “I need to try to mend some bridges with Tom. He’s actually really useful with stuff like this, if I can convince him to work with us.”

“Then please, try your best to do so.” Adam’s voice grew serious. “And don’t forget how much you are asking of him.”

20: Nature Never Deceives Us

As I set off on the drive home, I turned over Adam’s parting words. My stubborn desire to let Tom stew didn’t change the fact that I understood his concerns about Isabel and Nicholas – until recently, they’d been my concerns, too. The difference was, now I knew them better, they didn’tfeellike vamps to me. They were cultured and in control – it didn’t make my skin crawl to be near them.

Tom relied too heavily on my extra sense. Jon had too. And okay, I was telling him something that went against everything he knew – apparently out of the blue – but all I was asking for was a little more trust.

I parked outside the dark house and let myself in, intending to call Tom and ask him to come over as soon as I had my boots off. It was a conversation that needed to be had in person. But to my surprise, I found him in the darkness, feet propped on the sofa arm, the blue glow of his phone screen casting harsh shadows across his face. I switched on a lamp.

He set his mobile on the coffee table with deliberate care, fixing me with a sharp look. “I had to come back at some point.”

“I’m glad you did.” I twisted my hands together. “We need each other. I need you here.” The words tumbled out before I could stop them. He stared at me, and I worried he might shout again.

“Before you start, just let me talk?” I pleaded, trying to head him off.

Eventually, he nodded, looking around. “You’ve been withthem, I suppose?”

I sat down, pulling off my scarf and gloves.

“Yes, but I need you to listen. And…” Since bribery might ease him up a bit, I pulled the diaries from my satchel. “I brought these.”

Tom’s hand reached for the books before he could stop himself, curiosity winning over anger. “Journals? Whose?”

“Murray’s.” I leaned forward slightly. “Now, will you listen?”

“Okay.” His fingers traced the worn spines as he flicked through them, handling them carefully so the loose pages didn’t fall out. As far as I’d been able to tell, I’d brought the earliest ones, though they didn’t all have dates. I doubted we’d find anything about our French friend in them, but I figured it was best to start from the beginning if I wanted to understand Nicholas – and learn to forgive him. I didn’t mention that part to Tom.

It had occurred to me on the way home that our friendship could benefit from more honesty. So, settling into my seat, I prepared to tell him everything.Reallyeverything, this time. From Maggie’s murder to the unknown woman who’d died tonight. I recounted every conversation I’d had with thevampires he hated and what they’d said – at least, as much as I could remember. More importantly, I explained what I’d understood from it. It was everything I had, and I laid it all out on the table. Now it was Tom’s too.

As I spoke, Tom’s shoulders gradually lost their rigid set. He set the diaries aside, finally meeting my eyes. My voice had grown hoarse by the time I finished, but the tight set of his jaw told me he was still struggling.

“Well?” I asked, as the minutes of silence stretched out.

He leaned back in his seat and folded his arms stubbornly. “Alright,” he said mildly. “I have some questions.”

I didn’t hesitate. “Ask away.”

“Do you trust them?” he asked. “I mean, actually trust them. Because it all comes back to that, doesn’t it?”

“I do,” I answered without thinking. “Isabel saved your life.”

He eyeballed me. “Which is precisely why I ask. What better way to get you to trust them than to make sure I don’t bleed to death on your floor?”

I wanted to deny it outright. If Tom could remember how she’d helped him, he’d understand. But he couldn’t, and I needed more than just my own conviction.