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Behind me, Adam sighed. “I’ve been friends with Nick for almost as long as I’ve been alive. I’ve travelled with him all over the world.” I turned to face him. “But it wasn’t until yesterday, when I saw you together—” he paused. “The way he looks at you… I finally understood what it was he’d been doing all these years, searching.”

It was almost what Nicholas had said himself, on the hilltop and again at the manor last night. And Adam seemed so sincere when he said it. But he knew as well as I did that Nicholas had met plenty of womenjustlike me.

“He’s a vampire, Adam.” I bit my lip. “And I barely know him.”

“I’m sorry, but you’re not fooling anyone with that line of argument,” he smiled. “Would you do something for me, please?”

I nodded, curious.

“Try to imagine the frustration Nick has dealt with over the years. He has spent countless decades – lifetimes upon lifetimes – searching determinedly for an unspecific and vague thing… theideaof you.”

He studied me intently. “It’s madness. I went along with it, though he never shared with me where his conviction came from.” His voice dropped. “Now consider how many times he thought he may have found you, to then discover he was wrong.”

I said nothing, watching him.

“I know to you, his past cruelties are nigh on impossible to forgive. But when one considers his nature,” he spread his hands. “His tendency to let his emotions get the better of him… You and I can never understand that bloodlust. He has truly been torturing himself, looking for you.”

“And if I’m not the person he’s been looking for?” I cringed at the idea.

“Do you honestly feel that way?” His questioning look was laced with disbelief.

My reply was barely audible. “No.”

Adam smirked. “Then it doesn’t matter how well you think you know him – some things are meant to be.”

???

Our conversation had given me a lot to think about, and the afternoon passed quietly. Adam spent most of his time plucking at a guitar absently, and left me at peace with my thoughts as I smiled mechanically at customers, serving them on autopilot. Every so often, I would catch him giving me a knowing look. It was irritating as hell – I was the last person who needed lectures about destiny and fate. I had enough of that with the hunter stuff. I didn’t need it from him too. Besides, his conviction was still pretty baffling. So with an hour and a half until closing, I told him he may as well leave.

“You could head off. It’s dead in here.”

“I thought you might appreciate the company more than my barista skills,” he chuckled, but he was already reaching for his coat.

“I have,” I said honestly. “I could do with a barista, though, if you know one. It doesn’t look like Tom’s going to step upanytime soon – the guy knows how to hold a grudge.”

“He will come around eventually, Erin. You’re asking him to dismiss a lot of deep-seated prejudices in a short time.”

I pulled a face, annoyed at how wise he could be. “I’m the one who should struggle with that, not him.”

“It’s understandable you would feel that way. But remember, his belief in this world that he doesn’t see… all of that is rooted in his trust in you. He’ll discover that soon enough.”

I nodded, handing him his scarf. “Thanks for today, Adam. Ihaveappreciated the company.”

“It was my pleasure.” To my surprise, he gave me a quick hug.

I watched through the window until he disappeared into the winter afternoon, breathing the coffee scented air deeply. Inside, only a young couple remained, lost in their own world. Once they left, I closed early, grateful that for a few hours at least, Adam had helped me to forget.

17: Madness Most Discreet

Itook the long way home, winding through snow-capped evergreens along a route that took me out into the Peaks before it brought me back toward the city. With the windows down and the crisp winter air whipping at my face, I turned Adam’s words over in my mind. I couldn’t help but compare it to Isabel’s advice the previous evening – they both seemed to be urging me in the same direction. And of course, that led to thoughts of Nicholas.

The memories came thick and fast – his support in the park, holding me like I might shatter. The way his eyes had sought mine at the manor, looking for something I hadn’t understood at the time. His laughter. His concern. That ever-so-slightly dangerous smile of his. Each moment with him felt like coming up for air.

And his lips… That brief brush against mine on the hilltop… Heat burned and flamed in my veins at the thought of it, as invigorating as any fight, and somehow completely different in its fire. My rational mind demanded I focus on what he was – every instinct I’d honed hunting should have been screaming at me to stay away.

But my instincts remained silent.

Instead, I found myself wondering what it would be like to surrender completely to the pull between us. How I’d felt before I’d known what he really was.