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“I’m not. It’s coming from the castle—two whole wagons of food.”

“It can’t be,” she said.

“It can.” I shouted, “Everyone, we’ll eat tonight!”

“Well, Death, you’ll have to wait a bit longer for us,” Zenna cackled.

Slowly, other doors began to open. But I wasn’t prepared for the sight of my friends and neighbors as they came lurching out of their huts. Their eyes were dull, their skin yellow. They looked half dead, like skeletons somehow still breathing. Only pretty Ryia had any color in her cheeks. She walked toward me with a ragged bundle in her arms. Shyly, she held it out to me, her eyes shining. “Born yesterday,” she whispered.

I looked down and saw a tiny pink, pinched face and a shock of red hair, and then I looked back up at Ryia. “She’s beautiful.”

Ryia nodded, her expression full of pride, love, and fear. “I know. She’s perfect.”

“Send your husband to the church,” I said. “We’re going to distribute everything there.”

She shook her head. “He’s in bed, burning up,” she said. She squeezed the baby tight to her chest. “But the baby and I can make it. Can’t we, little one?” She smiled at me. “She’s so new I haven’t even named her yet.”

“You should rest,” I said. “We’ll find someone to bring you your share.” I turned to everyone else. “Grab empty sacks or baskets—anything you’ve got.”

But they didn’t move, and they were staring at me like I’d gone mad. Only then did I realize that the carts were still nowhere insight. I’d run my legs off, but the drivers were stuck navigating the frozen, rutted road into the village. “The food is on its way,” I promised. “It’ll be here soon.”

I saw their mistrust. Fine, I’d earned it.

Soon enough they’d know that I was telling the truth.

I began walking toward the church, Conn trotting along at my heels, a rough sack slung over his shoulder.

“Really, Hannah? Real food?”

I’d described so many rich feasts to him and the twins, filling their minds with words when I couldn’t fill their bellies with meat, that he had reason to wonder.

I ruffled his golden hair. “More than you’ve ever seen at once.”

As I pulled open the churchyard gate, shouts rose up behind us. The carts had made it.

The scene outside the church was one of stunned happiness. After nearly crushing me to his chest in a hug, Vazi lifted all the heavy sacks out of the carts while Maraulf helped count and divide everything fairly. Merrick, his left arm ending in a bandaged stump, watched from a short distance.

I walked over to him, my heart in my throat. I bent my head. “I’m so sorry,” I said.

I waited for him to yell—to strike me, even. But he only shrugged his good shoulder. “I don’t blame you, Blackbird,” he said gruffly. “We took the chance we needed to take. Fed or dead, right? Well, I’m not the latter, and by the looks of it, I’ll be eating well very soon.” He reached out and touched my cheek. “It’s you who blames yourself.”

As I should. I cost us Otto, and Mary, and—

“Hannah,” Merrick said, turning me around so that I faced thecarts. “Guilt didn’t make you give up, see? I don’t think anything will. And we all thank you, whether we say it out loud or not.”

I tried to let his words comfort me.

In the end, every family in the village got three pounds each of barley and rye; a sack of soft white flour; ten pounds of turnips, parsnips, and cabbage; a slab of fatty pork; and a gallon of ale. Some people cried. Others took their shares in mute disbelief.

To Otto’s younger brother I gave all the medicines in the chest, as well as a jar of golden honey. But I couldn’t look him in the eye.

Herbs and sweetness, in exchange for a brother and son.

For the man who was supposed to be my husband.

I felt dizzy and steadied myself against the wall.Breath in, breath out. Breathe in, breathe out.

Someone was tugging on my skirt. I looked down. Conn’s eager little face peered up at me.