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Story: The Elf Beside Himself

“I’ll be fine,” I told her. “Just sore at the moment.”

She put a veiny hand on my thigh. “This okay?”

I smiled at her and put my hand over hers. “Yeah, Rosie, that’s fine.”

“Your young man,” she said, then, a sly smile on her face. There’s a reason I like my Aunt Rose.

“What about him?” I asked her.

“He’s a sweetheart.”

“Yeah, he is,” I agreed.

“He bites though, doesn’t he?”

“What?” I had no idea what the fuck she was talking about, and I really, really hoped this wasn’t some sort of out-of-the-blue sex question.

“Oh, Val. Not likethat.” She laughed. “Although I wouldn’t be surprised…”

“No, Rosie, we are not going there. Not even a little.” My ears were burning and, presumably, a bright pink.

Rose laughed again. “Susan said something about it being a pity you weren’t going to give your mother grandchildren—” Which was so a thing Aunt Susan would passive-aggressively say, and why I didnotparticularly like my Aunt Susan. “—and he suggested that perhaps your parents were satisfied with having their son happy instead of using him as a breeding factory to continue the family bloodline.”

I felt my jaw drop. “He didnot.” Taavi is normally very polite and often relatively quiet, especially in front of strangers. The idea that he would take my Aunt Susan to task—as much as she absolutely deserved it—came as rather a surprise.

“Oh, he did,” Rose confirmed, a grin on her face that could only be described as shit-eating. “She absolutely had it coming. This was like the fourth comment she made about how she’d always hoped you’d find a nice girl, how much your parents wanted to see you settled down, all that crap.”

“Jesus,” I muttered rubbing a hand over my hair.

“She totally had it coming.”

“Yeah, she did. Sorry I missed it, though.” For two reasons. First, I really enjoyed it when people took Susan down a peg or two. Second, I felt bad that Taavi was defending me instead ofmedefending me, but I was in here on the couch trying not to strain my side and force Taavi to have to do even more to take care of me.

Rose squeezed my hand. “I’m glad you’re happy, Val, even if Susan’s a bitch.”

I barked out a laugh, startled by the vulgarity. I couldn’t remember ever having heard my Aunt Rose swear before. “Jesus, Rosie.”

She winked at me, then stood up. “She’s my sister, I can say that. Now, let me go send your young man in here before we end up with actual blood on the floor.” Shooting me a grin, she headed out of the living room.

I saw, even through the haze of people and holiday background music, when Taavi walked in a few minutes later, color still high in his cheeks and worry furrowing his brow. He came over and sat next to me.

“Your aunt said I should come see you. Are you doing okay?”

“I’m fine,” I told him, dodging the hand he was trying to press to my forehead. “Rosie just thinks you might have had enough of Aunt Susan.”

The color in his cheeks deepened. “Oh. I should probably apologize to her.”

“The hell you should,” I retorted. “She deserved it.”

He was already shaking his head. “I—I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Yes, you should have,” I told him. “I just wish I’d been there to hear it.”

“I lost my temper.”

“As long as you didn’t actually bite her, I think you’re good,” I told him, reaching out to run my fingers over the buzzed sides of his head.

“It was tempting,” he muttered, and I carefully pulled him in close to my side—the side without the stab wound. He let me do it, although I was given a glance that told me he wasn’t quite ready to let go of his irritation, hopefully all aimed at my Aunt Susan.