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“Guys!” I forced a smile. “I’m fine!”

“You’re not fine!” Max yelled. “You’re a pig in your own filth! You smell, your house is a mess, and I saw at least two good-sized rats leaving through the front door — meaning you’ve even managed to scare rodents! Pull yourself together!”

I burped. “You gonna slap me now?”

“Do it.” Colt crossed his arms. “Or at least hose him off.”

“Please!” I shouted. “This from three happily married guys? Let me rot in my filth!”

“He’s drunk,” Max announced. “He didn’t even chase her!”

“What’s the point?” I felt the familiar sting of rejection hit me square in the chest. “Things are better this way.” I didn’t tell them that her car was gone; that when I’d called her work the day after being arrested by my partner at the precinct, she’d taken a week off. And when I’d stopped by her parents’, they’d just given me a pathetic look as if they hadn’t known what to say.

I should have gotten her number.

I should have run like hell.

“So, go after her.” This from Colton.

“And say what? Choose me? Stay with me? She’s left me twice, guys. She’s not coming back.”

I rubbed my chest.

Max sighed and kicked a box in my direction, then reached out and patted my hand. Aw, he was comforting me. That was nice of him to—

“What the hell!” I screamed, as Max slapped me across the face twice then pulled his fist back as if he was going to beat the shit out of me.

“Get off your ass, or so help me God, I’m calling your grandmother!”

“No!” I shot to my feet. “You wouldn’t.”

Colton shivered. “He would.”

“Jason?” an elderly voice chimed in from the door. “Grandma’s moving in!”

My eyes widened.

“Those are your choices,” Max said, looking pleased. “Either you chase your woman, or Grandma moves in. We already packed her shit.”

“What?” Grandma yelled.” What was that, Maxy?”

“You look so fit!” He beamed.

She did a little twirl then put on her bright red lipstick. “I’ve been dancing.”

“Oh, it shows.” Max winked.

I groaned.

“So, shall we help you shower, or are you and Grandma new roomies?” Colton asked.

I glared at both of them. “Shower. Now.”

“That’s the spirit!” Max clapped. “Let’s go get your woman!”