Page 56

chapter twenty

“The first kiss is important. So important that every dude in their right mind better be nervous. But as I said before, it’s not about you. Slowly, go into the kiss, press your lips against theirs, then, let nature take its course. Let nature decide those next few seconds, and do yourself a favor — make sure you’re touching your significant other somewhere. None of this weird, a-foot-of-space-between-you, bullshit. Nobody likes that, except middle school teachers who like to kill pubescent joy one sad slow dance at a time.”

~From Max Emory’s Guide to Dating and Other Important Life Lessons

Maddy

My gut clenched.

I’d broken him.

Broken us.

Because I had been afraid… of so many things.

I’d broken the very thing I’d been afraid of breaking. Stupid, stupid girl.

My throat felt tight as we pulled up to his parents’ old house. We’d exchanged the cruiser for his old truck again, which just made the tension that much worse, because the smell was enough to send me into a haze full of memories spent in that back seat, spread out for him to see.

I slammed my door shut and walked slowly toward the house.

“It’s open,” he said behind me.

A few inches, and I could lean back into his arms. Would he wrap them around me? Or push me away? My shoulders slumped as I opened the door and took a step over the threshold.

I didn’t recognize a thing. It still had the same shell as before, but the old hardwood floors had been replaced with a dark-looking slate, the walls painted a warm tan color, and the pictures all replaced with more modern pieces that brought life into the house that I hadn’t even realized had been missing. “This looks incredible!”

“Thanks.” Jason stepped around me and down the hall into the open kitchen.

I could tell he was still working on it; the floor was all pulled up, and the backsplash was missing. All of the appliances were a shiny new chrome. The granite was a bright white. I loved everything about it.

“It’s my side project.”

“It looks like more than a side project. Did you pick out the colors and everything?” I ran my fingertips along the cold granite while he pulled out two water bottles and tossed me one.

“Yeah.” He shrugged as if it was no big deal. “I had an apartment with Colt before he went off and got married to my sister. And after that, my parents decided they wanted to travel, so I get free room and board for redoing the entire house and putting it on the market, and they get free labor.”

My heart stuck in my throat, as my brain tried to process the idea of him not living next to my parents. “You’re selling?”

He gave me a funny look that made me feel somewhat stupid. We were adults, not kids, but still. “They’re selling, but yeah, why?”

It felt like the end.

Like the final nail in the coffin.

The day that the Caro family no longer lived beside me.

I almost sank to my knees. What was wrong with me?

I didn’t want to admit it.

Admit the reasons for coming back, for holding out hope that maybe… just maybe… things would pick up with Jason and me.

I scratched my head. “Nothing, it’s just, where will you live?”

Can I sound any more desperate?

His lips twitched as he ran a hand through his messy dark hair. “Why are you so concerned?”