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“You’re not her.”
I shut up because I didn’t get what he was saying.
He explained.
“When she’d weave back into the real world in those days where that still happened, she was sweet, she loved her boy, and she was ravaged, because we were so fucked up and she didn’t know how to unfuck us.”
Oh.
He was talking about his mom.
“It wasn’t her fault,” I said.
“I know. But you’re not her. You bounce around and don’t say bad words, unless you’re seriously fuckin’ pissed, and you smile easy, but you got spine, you got grit, you don’t back down, you look after those who are yours. You go right to the mat for them.”
I loved it he got that from me.
“She’d do the same thing if she could, I’m sure,” I asserted.
“She would. But she couldn’t.”
This was tragically true.
“A boy, he’s supposed to look for a woman as good as his mom,” Javi said. “But I didn’t. She was dark. Not her fault. But she was dark. I searched for sunshine.”
Wet hit my eyes immediately. “That makes you feel guilty?”
“I need sunshine, Lolita.”
Even though tears were still in my eyes, I shot him the biggest smile I could muster. “Well, it’s good you found me.”
“Don’t ever mention quid pro quo again, Harlow,” he stated and pointed at the door. “You give me more than I could ever give you.”
Oh no he didn’t.
“That’s not true,” I returned.
“So I’m buying the smoothie thing,” he declared.
Oh no he didn’t!
“Javier Montoya, don’t you use your tragic past to pull stuff over on me.”
He grinned, wide and white. “Get used to it, lil’ mama.”
“Javi,” I snapped. “Javi!” I yelled as he jogged up the rest of the stairs, taking them two at a time. “I’m buying the nutribullet!” I shouted at the ceiling.
Javi didn’t reply.
Two hours later, I gave up arguing at the checkout counter and let Javi buy the nutribullet.
We got the top-of-the-line one that did both personal smoothies and acted as a blender, because of course we did.
And it was black.
TWENTY-FOUR
“BECAUSE YOU LOVED ME”