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Everything that was me wanted to call Easton and explain this, take time to make him understand, give my brother one more shot at being a brother.
Everything that was me, though, was the old me.
The new me, the real me, knew he’d never understand, no matter what I said, no matter the pains I took to explain.
This made me get mad he was being such a dick, not to mention, sticking his nose into something that really didn’t concern him. It was between Mom and me.
Therefore, I opened my texts to Jessie muttering an alarmed, cautionary, “Babe.”
I ignored her and texted, That Mustang was yours. You still own it. I didn’t get a new car at age sixteen. So it isn’t me who has to get over myself. You never gave the barest effort to get to know me. If you never see me again, no skin off your nose, you’re not losing a sister, you never had one. And the same goes for me, since I never had a brother. You were too busy enjoying Mom kissing your ass.
I heard Shanti’s shocked hiss, but I sent the text, then I blocked my brother.
After that, I went again to voicemail.
“Maybe you should take a break,” Jessie suggested.
In for a penny…
I hit go and listened to Dad’s first.
“Harlow, honey, your mother is very upset. We need to talk. I’m not sure what got into you, but I think there are some wounds your mother inadvertently inflicted that we need to discuss. Call me.”
Inadvertently?
Maybe at the time.
After I shared my truth?
The woman needed to self-reflect.
Second voicemail: “Your mother says you’re dating someone. Is it serious? She made it sound serious. I hope you understand how she and I would both be upset that our daughter hasn’t shared she has someone in her life to the point this relationship sounds serious before we heard that first word about him. Please phone me.”
The last voicemail was playing when the back door opened, and Javi and Eric stepped in.
My dad being stern.
“Harlow Nicole, it’s unconscionable that you would speak to your mother the way you did, and your brother and I have been trying to reach out to you, and you’re ignoring us. This is not the daughter I raised. I expect to receive your call the minute you listen to this.”
I was seeing the error of my ways with the rage on Javi’s face.
We should have listened to these when we were on a break.
Or maybe, never at all.
“Javi, brother,” Eric said in the same alarmed, cautionary tone Jessie had used moments earlier.
And just like me, Javi ignored him.
He walked to me, took my phone from my hand and stared into my eyes.
“Gonna stop me?” he asked.
“I want a chill night with you,” I replied. “I want to make dinner and eat it with you and watch TV with you then take a bubble bath and then have sex and go to sleep. I shouldn’t have listened. I should have known they’d take her side. I should have known I was imploding my place in our family simply by telling them I would no longer accept them treating me like garbage. I did, and it hurts. But only because I now know that whatever I hoped would be, will never be. So now I have to do the work to get used to knowing that and decide whether it’s healthier for me to go no contact totally, or put in the work to have something surface, even if it’ll never be meaningful.”
Javi handed back my phone then hooked me around my neck and yanked me into his chest.
“I’m okay, Javi,” I said with my face smushed against his shirt.