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He watched my mouth do it like he was witnessing a miracle.
God.
What was I going to do with this man?
I moved in and kissed his jaw, then I took off, forcing myself not to look back, because if I did, I’d break my going-slow rule, and Javi would not get to laze.
Javier Montoya needed to laze. He needed chill time. He needed bright lights to shine into the dark of his life and cool breezes to make it perfect.
And it did not freak me in the slightest that I understood deep to the depths of me that I was gearing up to make it my mission in life to give this to him.
I hit downstairs, made coffee, poured myself a mug, and took it to his chesterfield where I curled up in a corner and poured everything onto the pages.
I was deep into this when I sensed motion at the top of the stairs, and my attention moved there.
Javi was walking down wearing faded jeans and a black, short-sleeved Henley.
I knew in that moment, in life where everything was uncertain, one thing was.
I would never get tired of looking at him.
He came right to me.
He gave me a quick kiss.
Then he said, “Getting us breakfast. I’ll be right back.”
With that, not even pouring himself a cup of coffee, he walked out the door.
I didn’t know what breakfast was, and he didn’t ask me what I wanted.
But I was a girl who adored surprises.
So I didn’t bother myself with it and went back to journaling.
I was finishing up when he returned with a big box from Randy’s Donuts.
See?
Surprises were awesome.
He set the box on his coffee table, flipped open the top, and donut goodness wafted out. He commandeered my mug on his way to the kitchen.
I finished my journal entry, set the book aside, Javi came back and handed me a fresh cup. He sat close to me in my corner, looked at the box, then to me, and asked, “Which one you want?”
“I’m going to pick mine after you grab yours.”
“Which one you want, Harlow?”
I held his gaze steady. “I’m going to pick mine after you grab yours, and you’re going to let me do that because you understand I need to do that.”
Something came over his face then.
Something wondrous and awful, miraculous and terrible, spiritual and damned.
It pummeled me with blows that stung and coasted over me like the softest silk.
Javi let that happen because we both knew he needed to.