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“I would rather not do this in front of your team. I respect you too much to cause a scene. But I’m not going with them. I’m staying with you; I'm finishing this once and for all. I’ve been waiting for this moment for years. You’renotgoing to take this from me,” she says furiously with requital as she moves away from me with her head held high. “You can force me on that bus or tie me down to that fucking truck, but I will find a way back.” She points to the truck, her head motioning with it.
“That’s not what I want to do. I would never purposely take that away from you,” I say truthfully.
“Then why are you doing this?” Her voice cracks. “The years I have” she catches her breath;the condensation vapors surround her as she glowers at me with fury...and pain. “Years, Ronan. Years of anger and all for what? For me to not finally get the man who killed my brother? Why would you do this?”
I bite my jaw. “I don't want to, but I need to.”
She steps to me, becoming angrier. “Why? I have told you time and time again, I do not need you to protect me, so why do you continue to get in my way when I have done well on my own before you came back into the picture.”
I wince. Her words are like knives stabbing me in the chest. I’ll take her infliction. “I have to.”
Anita's dark eyes blaze. “No, you don’t. Was this your plan all along? To take away the one thing that means more to me than anything?”
More than me?Her words are fucking harsh it's cutting into my wounds. But again, I’ll take it. “That was never my plan, you know me enou—”
“Do I?” she questions with an accusatory gaze.
I blink, heat flaming my face even with the freezing cold. “If there is anything in this world that I would hand to you with my own fucking hands, it would be this. But you can't fight this one with me. Your well-being means so much more.”
That only fills her with more anger. “Why!?”
“I told you.”
“You didn’t. So why!?”
“Anita.” I drag out, running my hand down my face.
“Tell me.”
Then, I snap. “Because I promised your brother!”
Her fury dies fast, and she blinks at me with drawn in brows. I closed my eyes, releasing a scattered breath because I didn't want to bring up Carter, but it's true. I protect her because I care for her...deeply, far more than myself. My promise to Carter is the stamp, the piece that makes me possessive and my need to look out for her even when she doesn't see it.
“What are you talking about?” Her voice is a sharp, deadly croon.
I open my eyes and look back at her. Goosebumps lift on my skin when his words come back to me. “Before Carter died, he made me promise I would look after you.”
Her lips part then closes as if she's searching for the words. She shakes her head, blinking rapidly. “Why didn't you tell me?”
For that, I don't have a solid reason why. Only that maybe if I told her, she’d hate me more or have a bigger reason to blame me for his death. Then things changed between us.
Instead, I say, “I don’t know.”
She huffs, palming her face as her shoulders shake lightly, either from the cold or from what I told her. I reach to touch her hand, but she snaps at me, backing away with a mean glare. “Don't.”
No.
Her chin wobbles as she breathes harder. “Years,” she whispers.
A part of my heart breaks away, and I step toward her still, but she steps back. My chest caves in like a tire crushed it. My jaws tighten for several reasons, because dammit, I just want to touch her, I want to take back what I said about her leaving and hug her instead.
Fuck my life.
“Can you try to understand?” Now that the kids are safe, the shit with Victor becomes irrelevant. I just want her to look at me like before. Not like she hates me all over again.
Her eyes snap to me, but she doesn't say anything. Nothing.
Let me touch you, for fuck’s sake.Instead, I raise my hands to my hips to control myself to explain as best I can.