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Avishka has come to a situation where she has lost her entire family, due to which she is not in a condition to think anything properly, and she presses her foot on the accelerator rapidly, and the car starts moving very fast. It seems that she doesn't know what she has to do with Sanjeev or what not, or whether she will be able to do anything or not; all she knows is that at this moment she is feeling so alone that she wants to end everything.

*"Avi..... Don't, dear...."

“I want to be with you, papa. You used to say that I had a lot of courage. I have no courage at all because you were my courage, and now you are not here, so how can I live here without you? There is no one here, neither mother nor Advaita. I am left completely alone."

*You can't lose courage at all. I have dreamed of a lot of happiness for you. You can't lose courage and kill yourself like this.

“I don't want to live anymore because the Avishka inside me is dead. Your daughter is dead. Now there is nothing left for me to live for. I don't have the courage to fight with anyone else. I don't have the courage to look at myself... I hate myself, this beauty....I feel like lying to myself. I don't know how I will accept your words. All I know is that I just want to come to you.”

She drives fast, reaches the bridge, does not reduce her speed at all, and suddenly takes a sharp turn towards the right, due to which the car breaks the wall and falls into the water.

CHAPTER 83

PRESENT

After listening to all the things, Prakram also has tears in his eyes, but he is hiding those tears from Avishka only because she is still hugging him and talking continuously, and he is not able to keep her quiet at all. He doesn't want to do it because he wants to hear her. He is eager to hear everything she has to share with him, as he is aware of how long she has harbored these feelings within herself and the pain they have caused her. Listening to everything he says makes her feel a little comfortable. He wants to provide some relief, which may be challenging, but if he can, he is doing just that.

“I had to kill them all like I had killed Rajeev, but Papa's voice kept telling me that if they caught you again, are you ready for that? To ruin yourself again, I was ready to die... I was ready to die, but I could not throw myself into that quagmire again. I miss my family; I am all alone, so I preferred to die. But God had something else in mind. I don't know how I came to Punjab from Guwahati, but when I opened my eyes, I found myself in the hospital. Padma Ma and Vishu Uncle were sitting next to me, and I felt their love as if my parents were with me. They looked so worried for me. I wanted to die, but they did not leave me alone, even for a moment. They used to sit near me day and night to ensure that I did not do anything wrong. We werecomplete strangers, but they took me to their home. Padma Ma used to feed me food with her own hands; Baba used to talk very lovingly; and my father's voice was heard again and again, saying that he is with me and will remain with me till the end, till I don't become happy. He has chosen much of my happiness, so he wants to see me with happiness only. I couldn't understand why I was alive. At one point, I thought of going again and killing that man completely, but then I started feeling scared again. I started feeling scared of myself. I wanted to hide myself. I didn't want anyone to see me; I didn't even want to be in front of anyone. I want to ruin my beauty. I hate this beauty."

She raises her gaze to Prakram, who is focusing solely on her. She comes out of the circle of his protective arms and sits in front of him.

"I hated myself—not only hated but disgusted with myself—and didn't understand what to do, but gradually I got buried under the love that those two great-hearted strangers were giving me without asking for anything in return. I saw them in a terrible situation, so I thought of doing something for them. If I can't do anything else, at least I can do this much for them to help them. Baba would bring flowers, and I used to make garlands of them as much as I could so that he could earn as much as possible. Both of them were not able to earn that much, due to which they were worried. I wanted to spend my time here because I was afraid of going back. I was not able to muster the courage. It seemed as if God had suddenly taken away all the courage from me. My parents had taken away the courage that I had. My brother moved away from me, who always stood like a shield. Although he was younger than me, his presence made it seem as though I didn't need anyone else. My entire world crumbled in an instant, as my family had been my pillar of strength. I was completely broken, and I just didn't want to see them in thatsituation again, so I couldn't go punish that monster. I suffer a lot every night. Remembering all those things, perhaps if I went back, it would bring back more bad memories."

Prakram is looking at Avishka, and tears are flowing from his eyes too. This is what Avishka says while looking into Prakram's eye.

"Then suddenly, one day, I met Aashi, and from that very day on, she became my life. She used to come to the temple once a week with her grandmother, and I used to wait for her for an entire week, not knowing when that week would end. I used to be very happy with this little happiness. I found a new life in Aashi's smile, and in the meantime, our meeting, our marriage, and many other things happened. I thought many times that I should tell you everything because I did not want to deceive you, but I did not have the courage, and gradually, I don't know why suddenly love for you started awakening in my heart, and along with it, fear also started increasing. I'm not sure what emotion remained within me after all this, or what triggered my heart to begin beating for you, but I find myself gravitating towards you. I started loving you... I want to love you, but I know I am deceiving... By hiding my past."

Prakram sits on his knees and starts coming closer to her, but she immediately moves back and tells him

"I forced myself to forget everything because I thought it was my past and that it would be better for me to forget... I want to be selfish because I love you, and if I hide everything from you, I will continue to love you, even though I know I have betrayed you. I am not worthy of your love. I AM TAINTED. I don't know how many people have touched me."

On hearing this, Prakram immediately pulls her towards himself and makes her lie down on the same stones, and he himself goes over her, strangles her in a tight grip, and tells her.

"I have told you before that I don't want to hear this nonsense. For me, you are too pure; you can never be tainted because your heart is not tainted, and I am proud of myself that I am your husband."

Avishka starts looking at Prakram, who is looking into her eyes. He immediately places his lips on her lips and gives her perfect proof of his rights over her. He keeps kissing her constantly, so that she completely stops breathing. Forget this nonsense and forget all her worries. Avishka is looking at Prakram and taking a deep breath. Her breathing has become so heavy that it is touching Prakram's chest with each breath, as she is desperately gasping for oxygen. Prakram immediately picks her up with a jerk, throws her on his shoulder, and takes her inside the tent. Makes her lie down on the bed.

"You are mine, and you have no right to say a single wrong word about my Avishka. And as far as Sanjeev is concerned, I will not leave him."

On hearing the name Sanjeev, a shiver starts running through Avishka's body. She can only see Aashi's face because she is so scared of all these things that, despite being very courageous, she can't stop herself from shivering. She finds it impossible to distance herself from him; she begins to cry and rejects Prakram with a shake of her head. Prakram understands her situation very well, so he immediately comes near her, holds her face lovingly, and tells her

"No Avi…. They will have to give an answer to everything that those people have done. I won't abandon them lightly. They havesnatched everything of yours from you. They will have nothing to claim as their own. This is my promise to you."

But Avishka is continuously shaking her head and crying. Prakram understands her worries and past trauma very well, so he just hugs her and starts caressing her hair, but after remembering everything and telling him everything, Avishka is not in good condition. Prakram has understood very well that it is very important for her to sleep soundly for some time; hence, he forcefully holds her jaw and gives her the medicine, so that she should stay away from these things.

.

.

.

As soon as Avishka's eyes open, she sees Prakram sitting next to her, who is just looking at her. They have come back home, and at this time, he is wearing Prakram's shirt. Suddenly, he looks at Prakram. Avishka turns her eyes to the other side, due to which Prakram comes close to her and tells her.

"I have told you that your eyes should look only towards me; you do not have the right to turn them to the other side."

"Ram, I want to be alone."

"You are not allowed."