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I opened my mouth to argue, but she shook her head for me to stop.

“Just think about it. Let yourself imagine what would happen if it wasn’t a fling. Don’t dismiss the possibility of more just because you’ve put up imaginary roadblocks. You deserve someone who adores you, Everly. You deserve the best. While I think that no one is good enough for you, Ryan comes pretty darn close,” she said. “Just think about it. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes,” I said. I didn’t tell her that I’d already thought about it. I’d woken in the middle of the night and had gotten up to use the bathroom. When I came back, Ryan was asleep, and I crawled in next to her. She’d made a noise and pulled me close to her, sighing in contentment.

I’d lain awake for a while, thinking about my life and how it would look if Ryan stayed. If we did this thing for real.

Mama would find us a place to rent and I’d continue to work at the pottery shop. Ryan would go back to school or find a job online or even take up something in Arrowbridge. She’d figure out what kind of career would set her soul on fire and she’d run every morning and come back and I’d have her breakfast ready. We’d go to the beach and on trips and maybe we’d get a dog. There would be birthdays and holidays and laughter and cupcakes. Maybe one day she would reconcile with her parents, maybe not. At least we’d have Mark and his wife and the twins as family. And Layne and Honor and Lark and Sydney and Joy and Ezra. My parents would help us plan our wedding and we’d all disagree about silly details. Someday there might be children, when we were ready. We’d go to parties and she would know exactly when I was ready to leave because she was so in tune with me because we’d been together so long. We’d be completely in sync.

It was a struggle to go back to sleep after that.

Ryan and Mom were laughing as they came back from their run. Mom was definitely breathing heavier, but Ryan seemed happy anyway.

“I’m going to clean off really quick,” she said.

“Did you have a good run?” I asked.

“I did,” she said, giving me a sweaty kiss. “I’m starving, I’ll be quick.”

She ran up the stairs and I turned around to look at Mom.

“Well?” I asked.

“Well what?” she said, taking a glass of water from Mama and sitting down at the table.

“What did you talk about?” I asked.

“That’s between me and Ryan,” Mom said. “You can ask her.”

“Rude,” I said, pretending to glare at her.

Mom just laughed as Mama made up a plate for her.

Ryan came down with wet hair and pink cheeks from the shower and loaded up her plate.

“You happy you got your run?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said. She seemed lighter and more relaxed as she sat down next to me.

It was wonderful how ordinary it felt to have Ryan at our breakfast table. She wasn’t out of place. She fit right into the fourth chair. Well, mostly.

“What are you doing for the rest of the day?” I asked her.

“I was somehow roped into taking the twins and their friends to the waterpark. Don’t ask me how it happened, I’m not exactly sure. But I’m going. I haven’t spent nearly enough time with them, so I think my guilt played a part in me agreeing to it,” Ryan said.

“Oh my god, that sounds so…fun?” I said.

“You sound so enthusiastic,” Ryan said, stealing a piece of bacon from my plate.

“No offense, but it sounds like my nightmare,” I said. “Sorry.”

“Do you want any tips? I’ve taken many, many field trips,” Mom said.

“I might,” Ryan said. “I’m not sure if I’m going to survive.”

Mom sat forward. “Firstly, you’re going to need to set the expectations from the beginning. Shenanigans will not be tolerated.”

“I feel like I should be taking notes,” Ryan said.