Page 19

“I’ve got some in my bathroom, it’s fine.”

She frowned but didn’t argue with me. Since I’d moved back in, both of my parents had been having issues with remembering that I was an adult and didn’t require active parenting as much anymore. Yes, I needed some help and support when it came to my anxiety, but I didn’t need her to fetch me lotion. I was more than capable of doing that myself.

“Did you have a good day?” she asked as I went to the laundry room to dump my towel.

“I did, it was exactly what I needed,” I said.

She smiled and tucked some hair that had fallen from my messy bun over my ear.

“Good. Dinner will be ready in an hour if you want to go take a cool shower,” she said.

“Sounds good.”

I took my bag upstairs and went through it, finding the wishing stone. I rinsed it in the sink and then set it on the windowsill with the rest of my collection. I also had a few pieces of rare beach glass that I’d found over the years.

So many wishes all laid out together. Some had come true, others hadn’t. I knew the one I’d made today wasn’t going to come true, except in my dreams, where Ryan had been starring since the day we’d met.

My shower left me feeling drowsy, but there was also a competing sensation in my body that was a direct result of seeing Ryan in her swimsuit and imagining the rest of her body under it.

I’d never met anyone I’d wanted to literally bite before. Ryan Jewel was completely and totally biteable. And kissable. And fuckable.

I lay on my bed still in my towel as I licked my palm and then slipped it under to stroke myself. Sex was tricky for me with my anxiety, but I’d never had any issues with masturbation, which was a relief. I’d even used it as a coping mechanism for a time when my anxiety had gotten really bad. That was one of the things that first drove me to therapy, and since then, I’d managed to have more normal self-love habits.

Within seconds, I was wet and sliding two fingers inside, adjusting my hips so the angle was right. My eyes shut so I could fully throw myself into the fantasy playing out in my mind. Ryan. Her hands and mouth everywhere on my body, her smile seductive and a little devious. Those fingers tugging at my nipples, stroking down my stomach, plunging inside me and touching me just right. She’d know exactly what I wanted, what I needed. Her mouth would be relentless first on mine, and then lower, where she’d use her tongue on me.

I gasped as I got close to falling over the edge and pinched my nipple with my left hand, sending a bolt of feeling right between my legs. A few more thrusts of my fingers followed by stroking the side of my clit and I was done. My breath gasped out as I surrendered, jerking and tingling with pleasure.

I let out a little sigh and sat up, feeling warm and glowy.

“Dinner’s ready!” Mom called up the stairs.

“I can’t believe I’m not on vacation anymore,” Sydney said on Monday as we opened the shop. “Is there a term for the sadness you feel at returning to your life after going on vacation?”

“I’m sure there is in German,” I said.

She laughed. “True. Did you do anything fun this weekend?”

“Went to the beach on Saturday. It was so nice.”

“I’m jealous. Lark and I didn’t do much of anything besides laundry and cleaning and dealing with all the crap we didn’t deal with while we were gone.” She made a face. “Anyway, enough complaining. Sorry, didn’t mean to be a black cloud.”

“It’s okay,” I said. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gone on any kind of trip or vacation. Helping my parents move by driving a truck from Massachusetts didn’t count.

“Are you doing anything this week? Lark has been learning to cook from Layne and she wants to try and make this fancy chicken thing and I think she wants more guinea pigs to try it on than just me.”

“Oh,” I said, my brain already scrambling for excuses. “It’ll be just you and Lark?”

“Joy and Ezra are coming too. It’s not exactly a dinner party, because we’re not fancy like that, but we will be eating dinner in a casual setting,” she said. “You don’t have to answer right now. Just let me know.”

A few customers walked in and I was saved from having to answer.

It sounded lowkey, so I was going to try for it. When it came to my anxiety, I never took anything for granted. Just when I’d get cocky and think that I had it conquered, a random panic attack would slam me back to earth.

Sydney had the front of the shop covered, so I went to the back to pack orders. Since she’d hired me, Sydney had expanded the offerings in the online shop, and had reached out to more places to sell mugs and coasters and other things on consignment. A few times a month I would go around to the shops and refresh the inventory and see how everything was selling. The first few times I’d done it had been a nightmare, but I was much better at it now.

There was something about packing boxes that was so soothing, and I never minded doing it.

Eileen had her earbuds in, probably listening to some podcast, so I put on an audiobook to keep me company while I worked, going to the computer to print off the shipping labels, pulling the merchandise, and then making sure it was all cozy and wrapped up tight so it wouldn’t break in transit.