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“That is good,” she said after she’d swallowed.

“It is,” I said.

“So,” she said after another bite, “how long have you been in the book club?”

“Not that long. I needed a little convincing to join,” I admitted. Oops.

“Why?”

I opened my mouth to lie, slammed it shut, and then tried again. “Social situations are hard for me.”

I couldn’t meet her eyes and waited for her to find a way to extricate herself from the conversation. A lot of people bailed after hearing about that.

“That must be really difficult,” she finally said, and I could tell she’d chosen her words with care. Our eyes met and I studied her.

“It is,” I said. “If I don’t force myself, I’ll just stay in the house and not talk to anyone or see anyone and get completely separated from the rest of the world.”

I didn’t normally tell people I’d just met this much information about me, but there was something about Ryan. Sure, she was physically imposing, but it was easy to talk to her for some reason.

“It can be easy to shut out the world,” she said. “Or to surround yourself with only a few people.”

She got it. I could tell she got it.

“Why did you decide to come to book club?” I asked.

“Layne forced me,” she said, and for the first time I saw her smile softly.

Help. I was having an emergency. Ryan’s smile was better than cake. It was gone quickly, but I burned it in the back of my mind so I could keep it.

“I’m not surprised. Sydney didn’t really give me an option not to join either. She was nice about it, but she really pestered me to come until I did. I’m glad she did, though.”

I didn’t regret coming to book club at all. It was setting the foundation for me to be more part of the world again. A baby step on the way to bigger steps. My job had been the first huge hurdle. The party on Saturday was yet another step.

“So am I,” she said, and there was that heat again. Was this flirting?

“Sorry to interrupt,” Joy said, coming over. “We’re getting ready to clean up. You don’t have to leave, just wanted to let you know.”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” I said, feeling my face go red and my anxiety starting to escalate. I didn’t want to make Joy’s life difficult.

Ryan pulled me aside by one of the shelves.

“We should talk,” she said.

“Right,” I said.

“Not here,” she said, her eyes flicking around. “I’d rather have some privacy.”

“Yeah, definitely,” I said, nodding.

“Are you coming to Layne’s party this weekend?”

“I might,” I said, even though I had already agreed.

Ryan leaned against a shelf and gazed down at me. “You should.”

Over the years of me canceling plans with people, gradually they would just stop asking. It had been a long time since someone had asked me to come to something like this. Layne inviting me felt more like her just being nice or feeling pity for me. Ryan inviting me was completely different.

“How tall are you?” I blurted out.