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I got into the groove and my book was getting steamy. Compared to the other jobs that were available locally, this one was pretty close to perfect.

The rest of the day passed quickly, in between packing and heading to the post office, I helped Eileen clean up a container of glaze she spilled and helped Sydney with some website updates.

“I’ll come to your not dinner party,” I told her as we were closing up the shop for the day.

“Fantastic. I think it’s going to be on Wednesday, but I’ll let you know so you can plan. It’ll be super casual, so you don’t need to bring anything or wear anything fancy. Just dinner with friends,” she said.

Dinner with friends. I could handle that. I hoped.

While I didn’t see or hear anything about Ryan the next two days, she was constantly in my thoughts. I knew so little about her that I had nothing but questions. Where was she staying? What did she do with her days? Did she have a job? I didn’t even know how old she was. Older than me, but by how much?

Ryan Jewel was a mystery I didn’t think I would get a chance to solve.

Chapter Five

The dinner party was actually moved to Thursday night. I only worked a half day, since I was helping that weekend. Due to not having much of a social life, I didn’t mind having to work weekends sometimes.

Thursday afternoon I tried to stay busy, running errands and cleaning my room, having a therapy session, and doing whatever I could not to ruminate too much on what was happening later.

Both my parents were at work, so it was really nice to have the house to myself for a few hours during the week. They came home as I was getting ready, sliding into a pair of jeans and a comfy T-shirt.

“Look at you, our little social butterfly,” Mama said when I grabbed my bag and said I was heading out.

“I wouldn’t go that far. I don’t think I’ll ever stop being a wallflower, but I’m okay with that,” I said. Walls were sturdy and sometimes formed corners to hide in. I was a big fan of walls.

I parked in the lot behind the pottery shop, which was also the lot for Sydney’s apartment, since it was upstairs in the same building, but with a separate back entrance.

I knocked on the door and heard someone call that it was open, and to beware of the cat. I turned the knob and immediately Sydney’s fluffy orange cat, Clementine, rushed over to inspect me. I leaned down to rub his sweet head as he purred against me.

Sometimes I thought about getting a pet as a distraction from my anxiety, but I didn’t know if I’d want to leave it during the day. That might make me even more anxious in the end.

“Hey, thanks for coming,” Lark said, coming over to say hello. She had blonde curly hair and it was obvious she was Honor’s sister, but Honor’s way more chill sister.

“Yeah, thanks for inviting me,” I said, slipping out of my shoes and adding them to the pile near the door.

The apartment was small, and it was feeling a lot smaller due to how many people were inside. It wasn’t just Sydney, Lark, Joy, and Ezra. Layne and Honor were here as well, and Lark’s redheaded friend from work, Mia, and one other person who seemed to take up half the living room on her own.

Sydney must have seen the panic on my face and came over.

“Hey, so sorry about this,” she said in a low voice, herding me toward the kitchen area. “I didn’t mean for this many people to come, but it just kind of happened. If you want to bail, I can make up a good excuse.”

I felt myself starting to sweat and tremble a little but leaving would only cause more embarrassing questions than sucking it up and staying. I could keep it together.

The noise level was already grating on me, but I’d just gotten here. I’d get used to it.

“It’s okay,” I said. “I’m okay, I can handle this.”

“You sure?” Sydney asked.

I nodded. “Yeah. I’ll send you a 911 if I need to bail.”

“Don’t hesitate. Also, if you need to take a breather, you can use the library,” she said. She and Lark had moved into the room that was formerly Sydney’s, and they used Lark’s old room as a place to store their books and extra clothes. They had a sweet little daybed in there in case they ever had a guest. As far as places to have a panic attack, it was pretty nice.

“Thanks,” I said. “That helps a lot.”

“Sorry, I have to get to the oven,” Lark said, so Sydney and I moved toward the packed living room. I said hello to everyone, and Joy asked me if I wanted a drink. The temptation to get wasted was strong, but I asked for a soda instead.

Ryan stood in a corner with Layne and Honor, who seemed to be deep in discussion about something.