Page 52

Compared to the parenting he’d been through while growing up, Bethany’s parents were saints.Saints who wouldn’t want him around their daughter when they learned of his depraved past.Of his mother’s proclivities.
He’d seen the way Bethany had been cut up about her asshole ex, and the way she’d reacted to his bombshell.How would she react if he told her his mother had done worse, and continued to do so?
The sound of running water hit his ears.He paced to the bathroom door and sucked in a sustaining breath.He needed to give her space.Give her a minute to collect her thoughts?—
Fuck that.He needed her.Being around her made him forget what a fucked-up life he’d led until tragedy had propelled him into sickened numbness.
He entered the bathroom and stopped at the sight of her.Jesus, she was fucking magnificent.Stupid to feel jealous of the water running down her body, but where Bethany was concerned, logic had flown out the window a long time ago.
She’d secured her long hair on top of her head and was leaning forward so the water hit the top of her spine.With her hands braced on the wall, he was reminded of their first shower in Paris when he’d lost control and come all over her ass.
He grew hard within seconds.He must have made a sound because she turned sharply.
The haunted sadness in her eyes made him grit his teeth.“Shit, Bethany, I can’t stand that look in your eyes,” he rasped.
“Then fix it,” she replied.Hearing the tears clogging her voice made his chest tighten.“Do you trust me, Zach?Even a little?”
“I do trust you.”
She shook her head.“Not enough, obviously.”
He stalked to the vanity, aware that her eyes followed him.Leaning against it, he crossed his arms.“I signed a non-disclosure clause agreeing never to talk about what happened six years ago.My attorney is working to overturn it.”
Her eyes widened.“You mean you can’t legally talk about how she died?”
He nodded.“I’ve been trying, but her family aren’t cooperating.”His jaw tightened.“And deep down, I don’t blame them.”
“Why not?”
His chest filled with regret, pain and a desperate panic that he was skidding towards saying something that would cost him the beautiful woman in front of him.But he couldn’t seem to stem the flow of his words.“Because she was doomed the moment she met me.”
“God, Zach…”
Ice speared into his soul, throwing him back to a time he could never forget.“She was innocent, Bethany.She had no fucking clue what the real world was like.She was a virgin, for heaven’s sake.I fucked her up so badly, even I could barely recognize her in the end.”
She flinched at his harsh tone.He speared a hand through his hair and tried to breathe, fighting to pull back from the brink he was skating toward.Absently, he heard the shower shut off.A moment later, she stood in front of him.
“Did you force her to do anything against her will?”she asked.
He frowned, his thoughts a jumbled chaos.“Did I…?Probably.Possibly.I was pretty full of myself back then.I had life by the balls, and I was squeezing it for all it was worth.I was pretty damn capable of anything.I knew it and made sure everyone around me knew it too.I think I hammered that point home with Farrah most of all.”
She took another step closer.“How?”
He tried to shrug, but his shoulders wouldn’t move.“She trusted me.I made sure she knew what the consequences would be if she ever betrayed that trust.I… made her choose between her family and me.She chose me.And ended up paying the ultimate price for it.”Pain seared his insides, followed swiftly by a damning ice that threatened to freeze his heart.
She touched his arm and immediately the ice started to recede.“Zach, I’m sorry.”
He grabbed her hand and tugged her closer.Her body was drenched from the shower but she was warm and soft and everything he yearned for, despite knowing deep in his soul that he didn’t deserve her.
Her arms circled his shoulders, and she buried her face in his neck.His breath shuddered out as she held him tight.
God, he never wanted to let her go.Never.
“Is that why you’re afraid to trust me?Why you keep pushing me away?”she whispered raggedly.
“I’m terrified of what you’ll see if I open up.That you’ll see someone you don’t want to be with.”
“The person you think you are, did he start and end with Farrah?”Her question cut to the heart of his every fear.