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“You’re very quiet, Peaches.”
Zach watched her raise her head from where she’d rested it on his chest.Clear blue eyes met his and some of his panic abated a little.She’d been silent since they’d left his attorney’s office, and the coward in him hadn’t wanted to push his luck.But not knowing what she was thinking had finally become unbearable.
“It’s a lot to process.”
He held his breath.“But?”
“But I’m glad I know.We can deal with it, Zach.We will deal with it.I’m not going anywhere.”
His breath fractured out of him, and he pulled her soft body closer.“You don’t think I’m a monster?”
“You’re not a monster, Zach.You were caught up in a series of circumstances that you couldn’t control.You hated that loss of control and have been punishing yourself for it ever since.It’s time to let it go.To let Farrah go.I’m insecure enough to admit that I don’t want any woman, dead or alive, coming between us.I can’t handle it.”
“You won’t have to.Nothing and no one will come between us.Believe that.”
Her eyes clouded and her mouth trembled.“Karim said she would’ve turned twenty-eight two weeks ago.That night you were dreaming about her.It was her birthday, wasn’t it?”
Tension gripped his neck as the ground shook beneath his feet.They’d come so far.But still he couldn’t let go of the fear that he could lose her.“Yes.”
“God, Zach, I’m barely managing to process the fact that you bought the Marrakech house for her.After she was dead.Please don’t tell me you took me there as some form of guilty substitute?”
Shock jerked through him, and he grabbed her arms so she could face him properly.“Are you fucking insane?How the hell did you come up with that?”
“Because you built a shrine to her!”
His jaw worked.“No, I didn’t.”
Her mouth dropped open.“What?”
“I didn’t build that memorial.Her family did.She told me how much she loved the place.When I saw it, I knew why.I didn’t think it was a big deal to buy the house and let them put up the memorial.And frankly, I wasn’t in a position to deny them.”
“You didn’t build it?”
He shook his head.“No.And I took you there because I had no choice.I didn’t want to be without you after I met you, and I knew deep down that would be the last time I went there.Before I came up to bed that night, I went to say goodbye.”
The shadows slowly receded from her eyes.“God.”
“Is that a good ‘God’ or should I be even more terrified than I am right now?”
Her eyes widened.“You’re terrified?Why?”
“I don’t deserve you, Bethany.Every time I hold you in my arms, I’m scared it’ll be the last time.”
She yanked herself from his arms and released her seatbelt.
His breath slammed out of his lungs when she launched herself onto his lap and took his face between her hands.“You really, really need to get over this belief that I’m going to walk any minute.Or I’ll have to teach you a lesson.”
Excitement washed away a little of his panic.He forced himself to relax in the seat as she spread her fingers in his hair and dragged her nails against his scalp.
“Hmm, I should warn you I was never a very good student.”
“You’re asking to be punished, Savage?”
“What can I say?I’m having very dirty thoughts about the teacher.”
The swiftness with which the atmosphere turned from pain and misery to happiness blew him away.But that was what Bethany brought to his life.