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Riley pretended the dig hadn’t stung.I’m raw, she wanted to shout.My aunt is dead, kind of, almost, and her baby is going to die and my mum’s having a nervous breakdown and my uncle’s being a prick and my dad has no job and my life is hell.

Mia had barely spoken that morning when she was driving Riley to school. She looked so old and sad. Riley had tried to talk to her, but Mia just kept crying silently, like someone with serious mental-health issues. Riley was scared, really scared. Her mum was the rock of the family. Mia held them all together. She sorted out problems, paid bills, ordered everyone about. That was how they worked. That was their family rhythm. But now she was quiet and heartbroken, and Riley had felt sick all morning thinking about her mum being broken. She wanted Mia to shout at her or nag her or criticize her – something. But she was just like this empty shell of a person. Riley had leaned over to hug her, and Mia had stayed still, hands on the steering wheel, not moving, not noticing. It was as if Riley wasn’t there. Mia had gone somewhere else in her mind and Riley was frightened.

‘I choseLittle Womenactually.’

‘Never heard of it. Is it about pygmies being mistreated in the Amazon or something?’ Zach rolled his eyes.

Riley willed herself to stay calm. ‘No, it’s a novel about four sisters.’

‘Not the one with Mr Darcy that my mum loves?’ Zach groaned.

‘No, it’s about the March family. There are four teenage sisters. The dad has lost all his money and gone off to join the American Civil War as a pastor. Meg and Jo March, the two older girls, have to work to support the family. Beth, who is shy and delicate, stays at home and helps with housework, and the youngest, Amy, is still at school. Meg is beautiful, Jo is a tomboy, Beth is a pianist, Amy is an artist. Their neighbour, Mr Laurence, who is really rich, has a grandson, Laurie, who Jo becomes best friends with, but then her sister Amy, who is spoilt, ends up running off with him, which is totally unfair because Laurie loves Jo. Like, he really loves her, but he just gets his head turned by Amy cos she’s pretty and flirty, but she’s thick and stupid and selfish, and Jo’s brilliant and smart and strong. But Laurie marries Amy in the end, which is just wrong.’

‘Well, maybe this Laurie guy is happy with the pretty, flirty sister.’

‘Why would he be? Jo’s so much better. He loves Jo.’

‘Well, he obviously loves Amy more.’

‘No, he doesn’t. He just gets dazzled by her and she’s a manipulative cow who lures him in when Jo isn’t around.’

‘Well, then, Laurie’s a dork.’

‘He isn’t. He’s a really nice guy, too nice.’

‘A nice guy still isn’t going to marry someone he doesn’t love. He might shag Amy, but he wouldn’t marry her.’

‘They didn’t go around shagging each other in the old days. No one had sex before marriage – they barely even kissed. And if Laurie had slept with Amy, I don’t think Jo would ever have forgiven him or married him.’

‘So why didn’t she propose to him if she loved him? Why did she wait around for him to fall for her sister?’

‘The thing is, Laurie proposed to Jo and she said no. But I don’t think she really meant it. She did love him.’

Zach snorted. ‘Come on! The dude asks her to marry him and she says no. No means no. Isn’t that what we keep hearing women say? So if she says no, then what’s he supposed to think? That she really meant “Not now, maybe later”? Whichever way you look at it, it’s a kick in the face for him.’

‘But he knew her. He understood her. He knew she was complicated. He should have just waited a bit and tried to persuade her more.’

Zach shook his head. ‘Why? Why should he run around begging or waiting for years for Jo to finally decide to marry him? He asked, she said no, so why is it wrong of him to go for the sexy younger sister?’

‘I never said she was sexy.’

‘Pretty, cute, whatever.’

‘She was selfish and vain, and thought she was better than everyone, and she just wanted Laurie because he was rich. Amy was not a good person like Jo was.’

‘Maybe Laurie didn’t care about that. Maybe he just wanted a hot wife.’

Riley glared at him. ‘Are men really that shallow?’

‘Why is it shallow to want a good-looking wife?’

‘Don’t men want someone they can talk to, not just look at? And, FYI, looks fade, minds grow.’

‘Maybe some men want to marry someone who will look good and not want to discuss the American Civil War or whatever over breakfast every morning.’

‘Maybe some men are pathetic and shallow, and when they look across the breakfast table one morning and see awoman with wrinkles and saggy boobs talking about getting a new bonnet, they’ll want to shoot themselves.’

‘What’s a bonnet?’