Page 111

‘Great,’ Rob said, trying to keep the relief off his face. ‘I’ll change my shoes and head out for a while, then.’

He put on his trainers and a fresh T-shirt, called goodbye to Adam, then stepped outside. Alone. It was a warm May day, and it smelt beautiful. Rob felt like he’d never scrub the hospital smell off his skin as long as he lived: it was ingrained in his pores. The thought of a long walk in the fresh air made him giddy with excitement. He’d do anything for Adam, hewasdoing everything possible for Adam, but, man, it was hard. The days were just running together in their horrible routine: Sarah got a little worse every day, the doctors got more stressed and Adam more entrenched in his lonely position. It was taking every bit of Rob’s strength just to get through the hours and stay patient and supportive.

He began to walk, not caring what direction. After ten minutes or so, he realized he was heading towards Izzy’s school, although it would take another forty minutes’ walking to get there. That sounded perfect. He could stretch his legs, maybe catch a private chat with Mia and also check in on Izzy. He strode along, enjoying using his muscles again.

When he reached the school gates, he suddenly realized that a random man turning up and standing outside was not a good idea. He could hear the kids in the yard, screaming like seagulls. He consulted his watch. Must be what Izzy calls ‘little break’. He took out his phone and scrolled through to find Mia’s number.

She answered breathlessly. ‘Rob? Did something happen?’

‘No, not at all. I just … Well, I know it’s a bit mad but I came out for some fresh air and I actually walked to the school. I wondered if you’d have five minutes to chat.’

‘You’re outside our gate?’ Mia said, sounding surprised.

‘Yeah. I’m down the road a little because I don’t want to be arrested.’

She laughed. ‘I’d better come and save you, then. Be with you in two minutes.’

He walked slowly back towards the gate and Mia appeared, smiling at him. She unlocked it and let him in. They made their way through the kids barrelling around the yard like they’d just been let off leashes. It was mayhem.

‘How do they not kill each other?’ Rob said. ‘There must be a hundred collisions a day.’

‘You’d be amazed,’ Mia said, opening the door to the school. ‘It’s like they have some inbuilt self-preservation navigation system. You see hair’s breadth near-misses, but we have very few actual crashes.’

‘Is Izzy out there?’ he said.

‘I let her go over to Riley’s yard, the senior yard. It’s quieter there and she can chat to Riley.’ She looked at him guiltily. ‘I’m not doing that to annoy Adam,’ she said urgently. ‘Please don’t tell him I said that. I just thought Izzy needed …’

Rob put his hand on her arm. ‘It’s fine, Mia. I’m not here to spy on you. Whatever Izzy needs, I’m very happy to give her. She’s missing you guys like crazy.’

Mia’s face fell. ‘We miss her. It’s wrong for her to be caught in the crossfire.’

She led Rob into her office and closed the door behind him. A blissful silence descended when the screaming mob was blocked out.

‘Sit down,’ she said. ‘Can I get you a coffee?’

Rob smiled. ‘I’ve got caffeine running through my veins instead of blood. I am most definitely OK for coffee.’

‘I hear you,’ Mia said. ‘I’m running on coffee and sorrow at the moment.’

‘It’s horrendous,’ Rob said.

‘You look exhausted,’ Mia said. ‘You get sidelined a lot, but I know this is really hard for you. You’re in the middle, and you’re trying to do your best by Adam.’

Rob sighed deeply. ‘Yeah, it’s been hard. I miss Ellen as well, but when I ring her, we argue because she’s so appalled at what’s happening to Sarah.’

‘So it’s not just me and Dad,’ Mia said.

‘No, it’s really not. I can’t bear to see Sarah as she is, and it gets harder every day.’

‘But you can’t get through to Adam?’ Mia asked.

‘No, I can’t. I’ve really tried. I’m being his ally, because he needs one, but at the same time I’m questioning him and trying to get him to discuss the options.’

‘Thank you,’ Mia said.

‘Don’t thank me because I’m failing miserably to reach him,’ Rob said. ‘He’s an island. Me, the doctors, you guys, Izzy, we’re all circling but we can’t get to him. To be fair to him, I reckon he feels under siege. He can’t think straight.’

‘I can’t lie, I want to kill him at the moment,’ Mia said, ‘but at the same time I know he’s hurting so much. It’s a life sentence for him, and I suppose we can’t be surprised that he’s finding it impossible to accept.’