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"Hold on," she says. "It's not strong enough yet."

"So, that's Rose," Zoey says. "She lives with me, too. Rose, this is Lilah…from work."

"Yeah, I've seen you there a few times," Rose says, grabbing a plastic bottle of cheap vodka from the freezer. "And I saw your video, of course."

Rose opens the vodka and drains the entirety of its contents into the tub before stirring it with a plastic oar.

That can't be sanitary.

When she finishes, Zoey fills two cups and hands one to me. "Wait," she says before I take a drink.

I pause while she sets her purse on the counter, shuffling through its contents for a few seconds before pulling out a small plastic bag and shaking a couple of pills into her hand. She pops one into her mouth, washing it down with the red mystery drink, and then holds the other out to me between her thumb and first finger.

"To help you relax. You need it."

I do need to fucking relax. I take the pill and place it on my tongue without hesitation, and then sip from the cup. Luckily, I was mentally prepared for it to be mostly alcohol, because that's what it is.

One drink,I tell myself.I can have one drink and hide here until morning if I want to.

Zoey smiles, both pleased and surprised by my compliance. "Good girl," she says, patting my cheek in approval.

It…does something to me.

"I'm going upstairs to change into my costume," she tells me.

As she walks away, I take another drink from the cup and then step into the living room, finding a place to lean against the wall and observe like the houseplant I was at parties like this for years. But this is different—people stare as I accidentally meet their eyes, likely because of the video. I recognize a couple of Mason's friends in the back of the room and quickly look away when they notice me, too.

But then, the alcohol, the pill, or a mix of the two must kick in because I don't care so much. I allow my eyelids to flutter closed, swaying alone to the music. I don't know how long I stay like that before someone places their hand on my arm, pulling me out of it.

"What are you doing at a party like this? Wait until Mason's preppy ass finds out you're just as much of a degenerate as the rest of us."

I recognize him as one of Mason's coworkers. I've seen him at the shop, but I don't know his name. "Oh…hey."

"Noah," he says.

My heart stops in my chest. I quickly backpedal away from him, but it's like the air is thicker, and I can't get away fast enough. Eventually, the back of my legs hit the sofa, and I sinkinto it, spilling what's left of my drink all over my jeans and the upholstery.

"Whoa, hey," he says, closing the space between us. "You okay?"

"W-why did you call me that?" I ask.

"Call you what?" he laughs. "How wasted are you? I didn't call you anything; I just told you my name was Noah."

I nod, attempting to slow my breathing and heart rate, but it doesn't work. "Right. I'm sorry." I realize I'm sweating, too. Even though the door and windows are open, it feels like I'm sitting in a sauna. "I'm Lilah," I say, shrugging off my flannel.

"I know," he says, laughing. "What are you on, Lilah, and where can I get some?"

That's a good fucking question. What the hellamI on?

Zoey appears in front of me in a two-piece leather nurse costume, and I spend a little too much time staring at her stomach and the beads of sweat forming on her bare skin.

"You like it?" she asks. "Looks like you could use another drink."

She takes my hand, pulling me up from the sofa, and leads me to the kitchen. "I'm glad you're making friends," she says, filling my cup before handing it back to me. "You know that guy works with Mason, though, right? That might make things a little awkward."

"Yeah, I don't…I'm not interested in him."

"Good," she says. "Let's go dance."