Page 27

I pull into the driveway about forty-five minutes later. There's a gate with a call box and a wrought iron fence around the secluded property. I stop and grab my phone so I can look for the gate code she texted me earlier.

When I do, I have two new messages from Paul.

PAUL Glad you're finally learning how things work around here.

The second is a video, starting with a black screen. "What the fuck…" I mutter to myself before pushing play.

He sent me a video of my mom…giving him a blow job.

"Jesus Christ!"

I drop the phone as soon as I realize what I'm looking at, but the bluetooth connects to my car, and the audio roars through the speakers.

"Look at the camera and say hi to Noah…" Paul's voice says.

With shaky hands, I reach forward and turn the volume all the way down just as my mom's gargled voice says my name. I swallow back bile, and then close my eyes, taking a moment to gather myself after being fucking violated.

I'm not sure how long I stay there like that, but at some point, Leo must have pulled in behind me, because I jump when I hear his voice through the window.

"Hey, Noah!"

"Shit," I mutter. "I mean…hey. Sorry, I'm in the way, huh?"

"No worries," he says. "Brielle sent me the code—I've got you."

He turns and types the numbers into the box, and then it buzzes before the gates swing open.

"Thanks."

"No problem. See you in there."

Leo walks back to his truck, and I put my car in drive, pulling through the gate and up to the house. We park side by side and end up walking in together.

I leave my phone in the car. I can't even bring myself to touch it now, as if it's radioactive.

"Have you been here before?" Leo asks.

Small talk. Cool.

"No, I haven't. You?"

"Oh, yeah," he says. "We do this every year." He opens the front door, ushering me into the house with a hand on the small of my back. "They're probably all out by the pool; I'll show you where it is."

"Cool."

"Sorry about that text last night," he says as we step out into the backyard.

"Oh, yeah. It's no big deal. I was just asleep."

"Yeah, I figured. But I am glad we get to hang out again."

"Noah!" Brielle shouts from the other side of the pool.

"Hey!" I call back, using the opportunity to escape the conversation.

It's not that there's anything wrong with Leo. In some ways, he reminds me of Silas. He's smart, attractive, and a wide receiver on the football team. If I'm being honest, that's probably why I slept with him. And if I'm being even more honest, it's why I'll probably end up sleeping with him again tonight, too.

But in all the ways that matter, he's nothing like Silas. He doesn'tgetme even when I'm quiet the way Silas did. He doesn't know what I mean when I say harder. And I haven'tcome close to finding anything that even temporarily fills that void, either.