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Ez smacks the window to my car. I point to my phone and he leaves. That’s when my dad sighs again. “I’d love to say she means well, but we both know that’s not true.”
“I know.” I run my fingers over the stitching in my steering wheel. I stare at my hands and wonder why they couldn’t let go of the ball tonight.
“It’s just a game, Case. You gotta remember that. Fuck, kid, I know me saying it and you understanding isn’t easy. Some nights you’re off. No matter what you do. Even the greatest have bad days.”
He’s right. They do. Even he does. In a twenty-year career in the majors and five teams, he’s had years where he didn’t perform as well as he could. But still, he stuck with it because he knew what the game offered him.
Everything he’d ever wanted.
“I can’t perform like tonight and get drafted,” I admit, worried my chance at the majors is slipping away.
He laughs, low and deep. “Case, remember you’re exceptional. I’m not trying to boost your ego, because you certainly don’t need that. You broke the record in the majors while in college. Clubs know we’re human. And nights like tonight happen.”
I know what he means, but it doesn’t make me feel any better.
He talks about coming to see me after the Mariners play the Angels, and I look forward to it. I haven’t seen him since Christmas when I flew out to Vail, Colorado to spend it with my dad’s side of the family.
And then he asks where I’m living. He knows I got kicked out of the dorms.
“Uh, well, I’m renting a room from someone.”
“A single mom with a kid?” he hedges, amusement in his words.
Fucking Ez and his big mouth. I knew he told him by the entertained pitch of my dad’s tone. Ez thinks he’s best friends with my dad since he took us out for beers last year. And tells him everything about my life before I do.
“Yeah.”
“And?”
“I’m… taking her to dinner tonight.”
He’s silent for a moment and then clears his throat. “Do you trust her?”
I think about it for a split second. “I have no reason not to.” I drop my hand from the steering wheel and lay my head back against the headrest. “She’s been through a lot, and I’m not trying to start something when I don’t even know where my life is going, but I can’t get her out of my head. She’s… intoxicating to be around.”
He waits for a beat but then asks exactly what I expect him to. “Is that why you struggled tonight? Because of her?”
“No,” I’m quick to say. Because it’s not Sydney. It’s the unknown. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, and I guess it scares me. Did you feel that way before the draft?”
“I was drafted right out of high school, and it took me five years before I made my first major appearance. I didn’t really have time to think before that, but I do remember being nineteen with a kid on the way and still working my way through the minors.”
“I…” Groaning, I try to draw in a breath, but it feels heavier than normal. “I don’t know what to do.”
He seems to chew on the advice he wants to give me before he breathes in deep. “Case, if you want her in your life, then it’ll work out. But don’t give up what you’ve worked your entire life toward, and don’t ask her to give hers up for you. You can have both. It’s not one or the other.”
I smile. “Any other advice?”
“Not really.” He laughs. “Just that.”
“Thanks.”
“See ya next month?”
“Sounds good.” Reaching forward, I start my car, knowing if I don’t leave soon, I’ll be late for my date with Sydney. She’s usually fifteen minutes late to everything, but still, I don’t want to keep her waiting.
After sending Ez a text and telling him to stop gossiping, I think about what my dad said long after I’ve hung up with him. I think about when I see Sydney, waiting at the restaurant for me, in the most amazing dress I’ve ever seen and smiling at me like I’m her favorite person in the world. I know then what I want. I want her in my life as much as I want Tatum in it.
I don’t care if I have to wait six months or six years. I’ll do that for them.