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“She knew him all right,” Sadie mumbles under her breath.
Tatum jumps up from the table, drops her pizza, and hugs Karen. “Karen!” And then she does the dance. Every mom out there knows the pee dance.
“Tatum, go to the bathroom.”
“No, thank you.”
“It wasn’t a question. Go pee.” I’ve been trying to potty train her for a year. So far, she wants nothing to do with it. Changing a baby’s diaper, not so bad. Changing a three-year-olds? HELL. And they poop human size. Enough said. And yes, I know babies are human too. Whatever.
“If I go, can I have something?”
“What are you? A hostage negotiator? No, you can’t have something. Go to the bathroom.”
Blank stares. “If I pee, I have candy?”
I think about it. I do, but am I really negotiating over her peeing her pants?
My cheeks heat with annoyance. “Fine. One candy.”
“Five.”
I give her the stern mom look. I don’t use it very often with her, but in the last few days, she’s been arguing everything I say. “Tatum….”
“Loretta,” she corrects me, hands plastered to her hips.
“Oh, go easy on her, Syd. She’s three.” Karen picks her up and into the bathroom. “Would you like ice cream tonight?”
Karen!
Sadie and Nahla stare at me. “Wow.” Sadie points behind her. “Do you think if she knew Collin had been cheating on you, she’d say, oh, he was thirty. He didn’t know any better.”
“Probably.” I pour myself another glass of wine.
“Should we offer Remi some wine?” Sadie suggests. “She’sstillsitting in there.”
“No, don’t—” I try to get out but then she comes around the corner.
“I’d love some,” Remi notes, walking toward me.
Have you ever seen that movie “Just Go with It”? Okay, if you have, the scene where the girl he’s trying to impress walks on the beach in the bikini… picture that but with a chick wearing yoga pants. She’s like the yoga version of Malibu Barbie. Way to make me feel worse about my life.
Karen returns, carrying our little Tatum Tot in her arms. “I’m gonna take off with this little nugget.” Karen might be, well, a Karen, but she’s great with Tatum and loves her.
I kiss Tatum, hug her between tears, and tell her over and over again how much I love her. She kisses my forehead. “I love you, honey.”
Karen stares at Remi. “Are you friends with Syd?”
Remi’s eyes widen and she stutters out, “I-I… no? Maybe?”
“She’s Sadie’s friend,” I’m quick to add as I push them toward the door, because Tatum is watching us. No way I’m ever going to say anything derogatory about Collin in front of her.
Before I know it, I’m drinking wine with my dead husband’s mistress. Just another Saturday night checking shit off my “never ever did I think this would be my life” list. And let me tell you, it’s getting pretty fucking short at this point.