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He smiles that smile that is so rare and I can feel my heart falling for him all over again with just one damn look. Shit, this isn’t good.

His hand goes to my hair. “You have flour in your hair.”

I reach up to touch my head but he pushes my hand away as he brushes the flour out and blows cool air onto my head. “Aria and I were making cupcakes.”

His smile drops and I know it’s because just talking about her hurts him. If only he knew the truth. If only I wasn’t scared to tell him. My chest aches thinking about the memories I have made with her and how he should have been there for them all.

He shoves something into my hand. “I’ll text you.”

I look down and find a burner phone in my hand and when I look back up, he’s gone.

* * *

The rest of the day went by in a blur. I felt dazed the whole time thinking about Kilian. Luckily, Aria didn’t seem to notice as we spent a few hours at the carnival. And whatever was bothering her earlier seemed to pass.

By the time I lay in bed I am burned out. And it’s not just because of baking and shopping, and football and the carnival. It’s because my mind is centered around Kilian. Granted, it has been for the last three weeks but after running into him in the market, it’s worse. Like my mind was running a marathon and I feel brain dead. Then I remember the burner phone in my purse. I scramble out of bed so fast I nearly fall out as I get twisted in the blankets. I run down the stairs and grab the phone out of a zippered pocket in my purse where I stashed it earlier. I look down at the phone.

Six new messages.

I bite my lip, beyond curious what Kilian sent me. But I wait until I am back in my bed before unlocking the phone.

Unknown number: I miss you.

Unknown number: More than you know.

Unknown number: I don’t know why it hurts to miss you more now when it’s only been weeks compared to those ten years apart.

Unknown number: I cannot wait to ravish your body tomorrow. To make you scream my name so many times your voice is hoarse the next day.

Unknown number: But what I really wish is that my head was buried between your thighs right now as you sat on my face. Your hips grinding into me as my tongue works you to the brink of orgasm. Your knuckles white from gripping the headboard so hard. Your head thrown back in ecstasy.

Unknown number: But I know that pretty cunt of yours won’t come until I shove my fingers up that tight ass of yours. Working both your holes and biting your clit until you fall apart on my face.

I flush as I read the messages. The one thing I’ve always loved about Kilian is that he was never shy of dirty talk. He always knew exactly what to say to turn me on. To bring me to the precipice every damn time.

We’ve never done this before though. Back in Dublin we never had each other’s phone numbers. I just waited for him to show up at the bar. That’s when I knew he was in town. To have a way to communicate with him now feels different. It feels like more. And that is something we shouldn’t have.

I hesitate. Worried that I am making a mistake by texting him back. But then I think about those nights in Malta. Where I felt like I was twenty years old again. Young and in love.

Fuck, I cannot be in love with Kilian.

Not again.

I set the phone on my nightstand and stare at the ceiling. What the hell am I supposed to do? Ignore him? I know he will just come looking for me if I don’t say anything.

I grab the phone off the nightstand and hold my thumbs over the screen to text but my nerves get the best of me and I shove it under my pillow.

Stop, Bella, don’t do this.

But the fact I just called myself by the name only he calls me has me digging that damn phone out again. My fingers glide across the screen and hover over the send button. Everything about this is wrong. I shouldn’t be doing this. But I hit send before I can chicken out.

Bella: And what would you do to me after?

I bite my lip after I hit send. He sent me those messages hours ago. So who knows how long it will take for him to respond.

I drop the phone to my chest, my heart rate picking up, excited about Kilian’s answer. It doesn’t take long for me to feel the vibration on my chest.

Unknown number: I would lick up every last ounce of your cum then flip you over and tie you to the bed.