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I look down and nod as I feel my heart breaking with every word I am about to say. “I don’t know if I can be with you, Kilian.”

“What are you talking about, Bella? I love you.”

I dare a glance at him and see shock all over his face. “Sometimes love isn’t enough, Kilian.”

“Bella…”

I shake my head. “I don’t know if I can forgive you for my parents’ death. I don’t care what the orders were. And how am I supposed to be with you? You take your seat and I live in the shadows? Aria lives in the shadows? She is the light in our dark world. I won’t keep her from it. I won’t drag her into this darkness.”

“We will find a way to make it work.”

I stand and back away from him. “That’s the thing. It will never work. There will always be some force driving us apart.”

“I just got you back.” His words are sad.

I fold my arms over my chest, tears threatening to break from the dam holding them back. “Maybe we aren’t meant to be.”

“Bullshit, Bella. Don’t say that.”

I groan and throw my hands in the air. “This is lust, Kilian. Not love. It can’t be love. It shouldn’t be so complicated. And our lives will forever be complicated.”

“Love is complicated.”

I walk over to the window and look out into the lush green yard. “I don’t want complicated, Kilian. I want to feel free.”

“You can’t just give up on us.”

“We were never an us. Can’t you see that? We were two people who thought we loved each other ten years ago. And the rush of seeing each other again is all this was.”

“Tell me this meant something to you. Our days in Malta, our texts, the phone calls, the time in Mallorca.”

I swallow my sadness and lie through my teeth. “It was a fun time. But it meant nothing to me.”

I watch his face crumple at my words. I watch as his fist hits his chest like he can feel his heart breaking as much as my own is.

I step toward him but he holds up his hand. “Aria should be here soon. At least let me say goodbye to her, Mirabella.”

Pain greater than any I’ve ever felt penetrates my bones at the coldness in his voice. At the way he flipped a switch so quickly. “She can’t see you like this,” I whisper. He’s bloody and bruised. And I don’t want Aria to see what this life is like we are stepping away from.

“She’s still my daughter, Mirabella.” I don’t miss how he stopped calling me Bella when I told him we couldn’t be together.

“Maybe you can come and visit her,” I say bleakly.

“Yeah, sure,” he answers. Rage cuts across his eyes and I know I destroyed any hope for us.

30

MIRABELLA

Six Months Later

Isit on my balcony off my room sipping on wine. I haven’t been able to stand the taste of whiskey ever since I told Kilian we couldn’t be together.

At least he held true to his promise. He hasn’t contacted me since that day in London. When his mother arrived home with Aria, I nearly lost it. Aria was her normal self, jumping around and laughing. Like she was just on holiday and not being held a prisoner.

Siobhan Bancroft was so nice and apologetic. She thanked me for letting her meet her granddaughter. And I had to hold back tears thinking of the life I could have let her have with Aria, the life Kilian should have with Aria.

Kilian didn’t say goodbye to her. And I regret that the most. I was selfish. I should have let him say goodbye. Should have let him get one last look at his daughter. But instead I took Aria’s hand and left the estate without looking back.