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He nodded emphatically. “She’s nothing like your mom. Not that your mom wasn’t nice, of course. She could be. But we made each other miserable, I think. Brought out the worst in each other. The only good thing that came from us was you.”
A warm feeling settled over me. “I wish you’d stayed,” I admitted. “I feel bad for saying that because, clearly, you’re happy in Texas, and you have a whole family and life there. But I was a kid…”
His face fell. “Me leaving was never about you. I had no money. Not a cent to my name, Bel. Nowhere to live. No job. When my brother said he had room for me at his place in Texas, I had to go.”
He covered my hand with his. “I wanted to take you with me, but your mom flat out refused. I didn’t have the money to fight her in court. I’d planned to just make enough money to come back and get you, but by the time I did…”
“You had a wife…”
“And a baby on the way. I couldn’t leave her. By then, so much time had passed, I wasn’t even sure you’d remember me. Was that the wrong decision?”
His face was so open. So vulnerable. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I’d spent years hoping he’d come back. That someone, anyone would come and just help me deal with my mom. I didn’t want to be the adult in my house. I wanted to be the six-year-old kid who had no responsibilities or worries.
I loved my mom. I wouldn’t have swapped her, even if I could have. But I had never wanted to be her parent. She’d never given me the choice. She’d relied on me so heavily she’d crushed any chance of a childhood. She hadn’t meant to. But she’d been inherently selfish and immature.
Too young to have a child because she was still a child herself. Her and my father both. He couldn’t have been much older than she was. Even now, he could pass for late thirties, though he had to be at least forty-five.
“The two of you were babies raising a baby. That couldn’t have been easy with no support.”
He nodded. “It wasn’t. But I shouldn’t have left it all to your mom either, no matter how much she insisted. I should have fought harder to take you with me. If I’d known what was in my future, I would have. I swear it.”
“I understand.”
“I don’t expect you to forgive me.”
But I shook my head, running my finger along the edge of my coffee cup instead of looking at him. “Water under the bridge now.”
But Torrence wasn’t letting me brush it beneath the rug that easily. “What if it’s not? I would like a relationship with you, Bel. Sally-Ann wants to meet you. The kids do too.”
I raised my coffee to my lips and took a sip before I could respond. “They do?”
“Of course! They’re so excited. They’re in the middle of the school year though, and we place a lot of importance on their education. I know it’s a lot to ask, but do you think you would consider coming to visit us at some point? I’d love to show you around and get to know you again. Maybe not as father and daughter. But as something else.”
I swallowed down the emotion clogging my throat. His offer lit my inner child up. She came crawling out of the darkness inside me and smiled at him.
I couldn’t deny her. “I’d love to come. Dad.”
Tears glistened in Torrence’s eyes, and he beamed at me with the pride I’d always dreamed of. “Okay, daughter. Okay.”
19
VAUGHN
Rebel called not long after Kian stormed off and I did nothing to stop him. I let her call go to voicemail because I knew I had to have the same conversation with her. Harold’s shadow standing in that window like some god, deciding my future, was still fresh in my mind.
I knew what had to be done. I just didn’t want to do it. Not two times in one night.
I listened to her voicemail though, and with every word, I had to grip the wheel tighter to try to keep myself grounded. “Bloody hell, Roach. You kill me.”
She was so freaking impatient. I’d told her I’d go with her to plaster her flyers everywhere. I didn’t want her going anywhere near any of her attackers alone.
But there was nothing I could do about it. The woman was more headstrong than any person I’d ever met. It was like she overcompensated for how petite she was by being a dog with a bone in all other areas of her life.
It was admirable really. Except for when it increased the chance of her being killed.
I put my foot down harder. When the phone rang again, I answered it without looking at the caller display. “Roach.”
There was a pause, then my mother’s voice came down the line. “Vaughn? Is that any way to answer the phone?”