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To my surprise, her face fell. Water welled in her eyes so quick a tear dripped down her cheek before she could wipe it away.
I widened my eyes, guilt rushing in at making her feel bad. “Oh, shit! I’m so sorry. Don’t cry. It’s really not that bad at all!”
She shook her head. “No, it’s not that. I just…I used to share this room.”
I bit my lip. That made more sense. “With the girl who’s covered up in those photos?”
Her eyes filled again, and she sniffed hard. “Her bed used to be over there, by the window.”
I fought back fears of rejection and dared to pick up the younger woman’s hand. Her palms and fingertips were calloused and scratched over mine, but I concentrated on her face. “What happened to her?”
She lifted her tearstained face to meet mine. “She died. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. None of us did. It was too quick.”
“Shit,” I swore softly under my breath. “That’s terrible.” It explained a few things, though. Like maybe why Torrence had come searching for me after all these years. Was it really because he wanted to reconnect with me, or had he been hoping to fill a gap his other daughter had left? It would explain why Sally-Ann was so standoffish with me. I knew nothing about being a mother, but I was sure if I’d lost a child, I wouldn’t want my husband bringing home someone to replace her.
“What was her name?” I asked quietly.
“Louisa.”
Alice went to her desk and opened the top drawer. She took out a framed photograph and passed it to me. “Mom and Dad can’t stand seeing any reminders of her. They took away all her things and covered up all her photos. I stole this one and hid it so I would at least have something to remember her by. We aren’t even allowed to say her name. It makes my mom cry too much.”
In the photo, Alice and Samantha beamed at the camera. An older girl smiled with them. She had to be the eldest of the sisters, maybe four or five years older than Alice. Which probably made her only five or six years younger than me.
My heart broke for the older woman downstairs who was clearly mourning a very heavy loss. I knew how that felt. “I lost someone recently too. My mom.”
Alice clapped a hand over her mouth. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
“It’s okay. I just wanted you to understand I know how it feels to miss someone.”
Alice ran her fingers over her sister’s image. “I just want to talk to her. To tell her I love her one more time. I don’t know if I told her enough. What if she died wondering if I was still mad because she used the last of my perfume?”
I put my arm around her and squeezed her tight. “She knew. I promise, she knew how you really felt.”
I had to believe that for my own sanity. I had to believe my mom knew how much I loved her, despite all her faults. That hadn’t changed, even knowing what I knew now. Nothing would ever change that sort of love. It ran too deep.
I wanted Alice to know something though. “I’m not here to try to replace Louisa. I just want you to know that.”
Alice took the photo back. “I’m sure you’re very nice…”
I laughed. “Nice is not generally a word people use to describe me.”
She cocked her head. “It’s not? Sometimes I wish I didn’t always have to be nice.”
“You don’t.”
Her shoulders slumped. “I do. It’s expected.”
I didn’t know much about parental expectations since my mom had never had any for me, so I couldn’t relate. But I could give her a safe space. “You don’t ever have to be nice with me, okay? I’ll give you my phone number before I leave, and any time you just want to do or say something bad or wrong you can call me.”
Her mouth dropped open in horror. “Oh, I couldn’t do that.”
I laughed. “Honey, I promise you, whatever you’re thinking or feeling, I’ve done worse. Stick with me, kid. I can teach you all the best ways to be corrupted.”
I didn’t really mean it. This kid was too sweet and innocent for her own good, and clearly still grieving too. But it made her smile, and that was all that mattered.
She leaned in, her voice lowering conspiratorially. “Can you teach me how to find two sexy men like you have downstairs?”
I widened my eyes at her in mock disbelief. “Did you just say sexy, Alice? My, my, not as sweet and innocent as I thought, huh?”