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“What the hell just happened in there?”
I didn’t try to turn around. I didn’t want to see his face when I broke his damn heart again. “I shouldn’t have let you kiss me.”
His breath tickled over the side of my neck. “Why?”
I breathed out slowly, trying to get myself under control. When what I really wanted to do was spin around and kiss him some more. Put my hand between us and feel how hard I made him. Drop to my knees and pay him back for the blow job he’d given me on the beach that night, so many years ago it felt like another lifetime.
That night before Harold had proved exactly how much control he had over me.
“We can’t do this again.” The words came out harsh and forced. I was practically begging. “Let me go.”
“Not until you tell me why.”
If I told him the truth, he’d say he didn’t care. That Harold could go to hell and he wasn’t scared of him.
I was. Not for myself or anything he could do to me.
But I’d seen what Harold was capable of, and I believed him when he said he’d make me fall in line by using Kian.
I couldn’t have him hurt again. Or watch him go to jail for a murder he didn’t commit. Kian might have been happy to bet on Harold being all talk, but I would never forget Kian’s broken and bruised body hooked up to machines. The days I snuck into his hospital room and begged for him to wake up.
“I don’t want this,” I protested.
“Bullshit. You kissed me back.”
“I shouldn’t have.” I forced out words I’d never wanted to say. Not back then. Not now. Back then I’d run away instead of saying them, but I couldn’t do that again. I couldn’t live with myself. I’d grown up in the ten years I’d stayed away and now I had to man up and say the things I should have had the guts to say back then. “I’m with Brooke. I’m staying with her.”
Kian backed off, and I turned around slowly.
“You’re going back to Cali?” He said the words like an accusation.
I hadn’t planned on it. There was nothing for me there. But what choice did I have? Until they found the real murderers, Kian was in danger if I didn’t keep Harold happy. I didn’t want all those people my father had loved losing their jobs. Fuck, I’d already been so selfish, I couldn’t let him down again.
“As soon as I can. I’ll stay for the funeral.”
Kian’s eyes blazed with hurt. “What about Rebel?”
There was a silent add-on. What about me?
I ached at the thought of walking away from Rebel before I could even really start anything. Kissing her had awoken something in me that had felt dead for a very long time. I wanted more of her kisses. More of her lips around my cock. More of my head buried between her thighs. She made me laugh in a way Brooke never could. Fuck. Even when she was annoying me or trying to get herself killed, I wanted her.
But Rebel was here, with Kian. Harold might not have known much about her yet, but he’d find out. When he did, I had no doubts he’d make similar threats against her.
Harold wanted me with Brooke. There was nothing I could do to stop it. There never had been.
“I need to go.” I unlocked the car and opened the door.
Kian just stared at me. “You’re doing it again. Running. I don’t know why I expected anything less.”
I nodded. He was right. There was no point denying it.
“You’re a coward.”
I swallowed thickly. I could barely stand to look at his expression. “Kian… I’m sorry.”
He held a hand up. “Save it. I really don’t want to hear it.”
“Do you want a lift to the interview?”