Page 64
Story: Of Flames and Fallacies
Cole shrugs. “I think in part it’s to test me. He doesn’t think I deserve the title.”
I whip my gaze back to him. “If anyone deserves it, Cole, it’s you.”
Cole shakes his head, his eyes falling to the ground as his cheeks redden.
I jab his arm to get his attention. “Have you seen the way Archie looks at you? He quite literally bows before you every time he’s in your presence.”
Cole laughs. “Well, it’s misplaced.”
“Stop it.”
“What?”
“Stop doubting yourself,” I command him.
Our eyes lock, and the desire to kiss him heats my chest. I want to kiss away that stubborn modesty of his. The way his eyes smolder before his gaze lowers to my mouth, tells me he’s thinking the same thing. As if lured by an invisible force, I take a half step toward him. But he turns away, no doubt to hide the longing he masks from the others around us.
“I can’t,” I mutter, averting my gaze from the flaming torch Cole holds, to the pile of wood on his stone floor.
I can’t incinerate the last tether to my family and my father. Guilt, sadness, and anger swarm me all at once. Guilt washes over me—I can’t be the one to burn it. Sad that, after tonight, I’ll have nothing left of my father. And angry I can’t do anything to change it.
But it’s the only way to eliminate any proof if Marge decides to report me. The required proximity to a flame petrifies meas much as destroying the journal. Staring at the kindling Cole collected for us to burn the journal in, my mouth goes dry as I picture the wood engulfed in flames. The crackling branches mimicking a snapping neck. Screams a whispered echo in my ears, and nightmarish words I can’t decipher coming to life.
With a shaky hand and eyes still lowered, I hold out my father’s journal to Cole. “I can’t be the one to do it.”
“Are you sure?” he asks for the third time. His fingers close around the journal, but he doesn’t take it from me.
I stare at the leather cover. I’ve lost so much—and perhaps I shouldn’t be so sentimental about a silly journal.
In the grand scheme of things, it is only paper and ink.
Struggling, I convince myself that between the journal, and Cole and Daeja, I’m making the right choice.
With a nod, I let my hand slip from the journal. Before Cole notices my glossy eyes, I turn away and head for his door.
“Wait—where are you going?” he asks.
“Just…burn it. I can’t stay to watch,” I whisper over my shoulder before exiting Cole’s room. When I get to my own, I sink into my bed and cry.
At least I fulfilled my father’s written wish of burning the journal.
twenty-one
TWENTY-TWO SECONDS
I dream of fire and smoke, haunted by the constant flux of flames from red to blue. Horror grips me in its merciless talons as the faces of the little girl and her family swim in and out of my vision. The shudder of a tied door. Flames licking up the sides of a house.
Beating my fists against a glass window until I bleed, I scream at the girl and her family stuck inside their house. Yet, they still can’t hear me, their round eyes staring.
In one blink, they’re gone, and I’m pounding on the window of my room back in Padmoor instead. I watch as fire roars around the room, inching closer to the bed where my body lies. My eyes are squeezed shut, a soft smile on my lips. The doorknob jiggles, and my mother’s distant cry is muffled by the inferno.
But I don’t stir.
I punch the windowpane, again and again. “Wakeup!”
My scream echoes and morphs into other voices, tones, and pitches.
I jerk awake, my heart racing and sweat drenching my back. The screams from my nightmare still ring fresh around me.
I whip my gaze back to him. “If anyone deserves it, Cole, it’s you.”
Cole shakes his head, his eyes falling to the ground as his cheeks redden.
I jab his arm to get his attention. “Have you seen the way Archie looks at you? He quite literally bows before you every time he’s in your presence.”
Cole laughs. “Well, it’s misplaced.”
“Stop it.”
“What?”
“Stop doubting yourself,” I command him.
Our eyes lock, and the desire to kiss him heats my chest. I want to kiss away that stubborn modesty of his. The way his eyes smolder before his gaze lowers to my mouth, tells me he’s thinking the same thing. As if lured by an invisible force, I take a half step toward him. But he turns away, no doubt to hide the longing he masks from the others around us.
“I can’t,” I mutter, averting my gaze from the flaming torch Cole holds, to the pile of wood on his stone floor.
I can’t incinerate the last tether to my family and my father. Guilt, sadness, and anger swarm me all at once. Guilt washes over me—I can’t be the one to burn it. Sad that, after tonight, I’ll have nothing left of my father. And angry I can’t do anything to change it.
But it’s the only way to eliminate any proof if Marge decides to report me. The required proximity to a flame petrifies meas much as destroying the journal. Staring at the kindling Cole collected for us to burn the journal in, my mouth goes dry as I picture the wood engulfed in flames. The crackling branches mimicking a snapping neck. Screams a whispered echo in my ears, and nightmarish words I can’t decipher coming to life.
With a shaky hand and eyes still lowered, I hold out my father’s journal to Cole. “I can’t be the one to do it.”
“Are you sure?” he asks for the third time. His fingers close around the journal, but he doesn’t take it from me.
I stare at the leather cover. I’ve lost so much—and perhaps I shouldn’t be so sentimental about a silly journal.
In the grand scheme of things, it is only paper and ink.
Struggling, I convince myself that between the journal, and Cole and Daeja, I’m making the right choice.
With a nod, I let my hand slip from the journal. Before Cole notices my glossy eyes, I turn away and head for his door.
“Wait—where are you going?” he asks.
“Just…burn it. I can’t stay to watch,” I whisper over my shoulder before exiting Cole’s room. When I get to my own, I sink into my bed and cry.
At least I fulfilled my father’s written wish of burning the journal.
twenty-one
TWENTY-TWO SECONDS
I dream of fire and smoke, haunted by the constant flux of flames from red to blue. Horror grips me in its merciless talons as the faces of the little girl and her family swim in and out of my vision. The shudder of a tied door. Flames licking up the sides of a house.
Beating my fists against a glass window until I bleed, I scream at the girl and her family stuck inside their house. Yet, they still can’t hear me, their round eyes staring.
In one blink, they’re gone, and I’m pounding on the window of my room back in Padmoor instead. I watch as fire roars around the room, inching closer to the bed where my body lies. My eyes are squeezed shut, a soft smile on my lips. The doorknob jiggles, and my mother’s distant cry is muffled by the inferno.
But I don’t stir.
I punch the windowpane, again and again. “Wakeup!”
My scream echoes and morphs into other voices, tones, and pitches.
I jerk awake, my heart racing and sweat drenching my back. The screams from my nightmare still ring fresh around me.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 150
- Page 151
- Page 152
- Page 153
- Page 154