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“Are you really going to make me dig?”

He turns his face out of my hand and shifts away. “I just came here to check on you, that’s all.”

“Cole—” I catch his arm in my hand. “I was scared.”

He pauses. Slowly turning back to me, he drags his gaze up to meet mine. I flinch as I recall the moment looking into his eyes at the battle. The brutality in them. The way blood stained his cheeks as vividly as his own freckles now. The memory connects to the emotions I’ve been forcing down, bursting through the lid I keep trying to cram shut.

Scared of losing him.

Scared ofhim.

Maybe it’s all the same.

I continue, my voice wavering, “I was scared to lose you—”

“I know, I know,” he whispers. Absent-mindedly, he touches the side of my face, brushing his thumb in slow strokes against my cheek. “But I’m okay. Everything is going to be okay.”

But it doesn’t feel okay. Something feels off.

“Tell me it won’t happen again,” I mutter.

“I wish I could, but I can’t. This is war. And with me being the captain…it probably won’t be the last time.”

My heart sinks, despite his statement already being something I understood deep down. “Then let’s leave. We don’t need to wait until the moonless night. I know where a map is. Let’s go now—”

“It’s too risky,” he deadpans.

“It’llalwaysbe risky.”

“I am not willing to cut corners if it means endangering your life,” he warns.

“Risk will follow us everywhere we go, can’t you see that? Even if we wait until you get the map and a moonless night, it doesn’tsolve everything. There are so many dangerous scenarios after that. And then what do you expect will happen once we get to the Dragon Lands?”

A sad smile blooms on his face. “I don’t know.”

“Have you evenheardwhen we’ll get the map—”

Marge bursts back into the room. I casually slink back away from Cole, hoping the sudden movement doesn’t trigger Marge’s suspicion.

“Are you hungry?” I ask Cole. “Have you eaten anything since Blackfell?”

“No.”

“You should still eat something,” I murmur.

He’s back to avoiding my eye contact. “I’m not hungry.”

I glance over at Marge, hoping for her support, but she continues rearranging bottles on a shelf, ignoring every word exchanged between Cole and me.

I try again, “You need to eat something—”

Cole turns away from me entirely. “I’ve got to go check in with Carlisle on patrols. I’ll see you later.”

I watch the door close between Cole and me as he leaves, my stare lingering on the spot for some moments after. Someone clears their throat, interrupting my daze.

I turn to Marge, waiting for her to speak. “Yes?”

Her back is to me as she works at mixing together concoctions. “Nothing. I didn’t say anything.”