Page 141

Cole pulls my chair out from the table. “I’m sorry we must leave earlier than intended. But thank you for hosting such a wonderful evening.”

As I stand and move for my room, Cole snatches my forearm. My gaze falls to where his fingers wrap around me, then back up at him. Everyone else’s eyes fall onto us.

Cole pauses, his mouth parted, yet nothing comes out. He clears his throat, changing his mind about whatever he was going to say. “We need to leave quickly. Meet me outside at the carriage.”

Once I get back out to the carriage, Archie, Cole, and Melaina are there waiting. Celeste watches us go from the front doors, disappointment painted on her delicate features.

My jaw flexes as Archie slides in next to Melaina, and Cole takes a seat next to me. The bench isn’t quite long enough to accommodate Cole’s large physique and me, without our thighs brushing. His hands rest on his thighs, dangerously close to mine. Movement sparks through his fingers, the veins under his skin dancing with each nervous drum against his leg.

As we jerk to a roll, the movement of the carriage shimmies our bodies together. My knees bump into Cole’s, despite trying to tense my legs from doing so. Thankfully, Archie fills the silence with conversation of Helmbrook and his family. I stare out the window, daydreaming of flying through the trees on Daeja’s back, away from here and to the Dragon Lands. While I missed my chance of getting a map in Windmere, I decide I’m done waiting for the perfect opportunity to go to the Dragon Lands. I’ll do so without a map.

We only need to get to the next day.

thirty-eight

ONE. LAST. THING.

By the time we arrive back at camp, we all split. Cole is whisked off with Carlisle to discuss what he’s missed, and I go to the healer's quadrant. As I enter, it’s the first time I notice how much I missed being here. How familiar the smell of mint and lavender have become. How comforting it is that the light filters through the windows, spotlighting cascading swirls of dust.

Marge is surprised by my return, and sends me out to forage for mushrooms. I have to control my pace as I walk toward the forest, each stride closer to Daeja picks up in speed. Anything to get me to her faster. When I finally break through the tree line and spot her shadowy silhouette, a part of me relaxes. Struggling to maintain my composure, I break into a sprint, fighting every second keeping me apart from her.

My cheeks warm into a genuine smile. “I couldn’t bring you a carriage of chicken but—”

She barrels into me, and I fall backwards to the ground. Her warm snout nuzzles into my neck, her strong tongue nearly licking the skin off my cheek.

“I’ve missed you.”Her voice is soft and low, like the sound of the water against the shore. The three words have a noose around my heart, clenching and pulling and hurting. Wrapping my arms around her muzzle, I lean my head into hers as I scratch her favorite spot under chin, and she melts into a pleased rumble.

“I’ve missed you too.”

“When we get to the Dragon Lands, will we always be together?”

My throat constricts, my chest tight. Had she asked me months ago, my answer would’ve been something entirely different. In the past, I imagined I’d drop her off at the border as easily as if I were trading something at the market. Trading her for a life of freedom where all I had to worry about was myself.

But now?

Now she feels as familiar to me as my own two hands. I can’t imagine a life without her. In a world where I have absolutely no idea what the hell I’m doing—with her it all makes sense. Everything makes sense when she is next to me. And that is all I need. Whether or not we go down together or burn the world to ashes, all that matters is we are together.

Together has become my favorite place to be.

“Yes. Always,”I answer her finally.

After dinner, I go off to my own room. I lay on my back staring up at the night sky through the gaps in the roof’s tattered ceiling,watching the twinkle of the stars. Footsteps outside my room fade to silence as the early evening hours pass by.

“Are you ready?”I call to Daeja.

“Ready as ever.”

I pack extra clothes, some food, and a water flask into the satchel my mother gave me all those months ago. I gather my sword and scrawl a new note for Archie and Marge, leaving the folded letters on my desk. I pause, mulling over one last task, before deciding out of respect to our previous relationship, Cole deserves one, too.

Cole,

There will always be a part of me that loves you, even if sometimes I don’t want to. I’m sorry I had to go. But I hope you understand. I will always want the best for you, and I will never stop wanting you to be happy.

Love, Kat

Tears slip from my eyes, spattering against the paper. I still couldn’t write the words‘I forgive you.’Perhaps someday, I can. But today that is not that day. I am still far too broken, too hurt.

I slip out of my door and scan the camp one last time, partly to say goodbye to the place I called home for the last several months, and partly to ensure no one else is around. With a soft sigh, I leave. As I pass the crumbling wall encircling the outpost, a whisper stops my tracks.