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That makes this interaction so unfair.

“This isn’t a bar, and neither of us have had nearly enough drinks for that.”

“Kind of feels like it,” she says softly.

I don’t even bother questioning it, because she leans in closer to me, and itdoeskind of feel like I’m under the influence.

If I was sober, surely I’d push her away.

Right?

Her face comes closer, her intentions obvious, and I don’t even flinch. I’m waiting for it,my entire bodyis waiting for it, like it’s something so important. It feels like a fact that every cell in my body is aware of.

This is important.

Her lips touch mine so softly at first, and I’m surprised to feel like maybe she’s nervous. She doesn’t seem to me like someone that gets nervous.

The second time she does it is a little more sure. The third is even more so.

She’s kissing me like she’s trying to figure something out, and I’m just letting her. She can figure out whatever she wants at this point, that common sense I swear to have is lost. I might not even care if I never find it.

I put more into the kiss, pressing my lips harder against hers. I swipe my tongue against her bottom lip to find that she tastes sugary sweet. Oh, the irony.

Suddenly, she has a hand in my hair and she’s gripping me with a forcefulness that lights me up from the inside out. My mouth parts, acting on pure instinct, and my brain has nothing to do with it.

She’s amazing at this.

I manage not to whimper when she lets me go all too soon. Whatever she just awoke in me is not going back to bed anytime soon.

So embarrassing.

She wipes the moisture from her lips with the back of her hand, panting, and it’s stupidly hot.

“Okay then, sunshine.”

“Okay then?” I ask, breathless. I’m so disoriented.

“Don’t get any funny ideas. I still think you’re irritating,” she adds.

“What the fuck?” I ask.

A smile plays at her lips, but instead of answering, she walks away.

Of courseshe walks away.

When she’s gone and back inside her apartment, I don’t know what to do. That couldn’t have been real. This is the part whenI wake up from a weird dream and feel weird all day, right? I’d love to wake up now and get that over with.

But I don’t. I just keep standing in the same spot, catching my breath.

“What the fuck?” I whisper to myself.

On autopilot I end up in my bed, fully dressed and teeth unbrushed. I’m instinctively braced for her music to start playing, so I don’t close my eyes. I just lay there, staring at my ceiling, waiting.

The music never comes, but I never fall asleep.

14

“Okay, you’re going to use this spoon to measure this and put it into the bowl two times,” I tell her. I’m amazed when she just listens and goes right in to do the first one. “Can I level out the top for you?”