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Chapter Thirteen

"Anita is good to you?" Samirah asked while on our way to Anita's office in Olympia.

"She always has been. Are you being a protective doctor now, honey?" I grinned at her while she cocked a brow at me, her eyes on the road.

"I am. Some doctors are assholes."

"She's always been really kind and sensitive to me. Though when I tell her I haven't taken any meds in over a month, I'm not sure how she'll feel about that."

"You haven't?" Sam glanced at me and I shook my head.

"It's just anxiety meds. I haven't been anxious in a way I couldn't manage." I shrugged and she gave my knee a supportive squeeze.

"I'd like to talk about last night. Would you do that with me?" she asked, her voice tentative.

"Yes. Always."

Sam took a deep breath, her hand held out to me. I took it, squeezing her fingers with mine. "We haven't talked about it and you haven't mentioned it. Are you okay with everything that happened?"

"Of course, Sam. Everything we did I was an active part of," I told her, truthfully. "Do you feel differently?"

"No. You were just so quiet about it, I wasn't sure."

"It was erotic and different and surprising." I dropped my head back against the seat while stroking my thumb over her knuckles. "And I understand what scene means now."

"Would you do that again?" Her gaze flickered in my direction.

"Yes, but Sam, couldn't we just do that alone? Just the two of us?"

"Of course." Now a smile curved her lips. "Really?"

"Yes." My face heated with my declaration. "Like Caroline with Nora, just us."

"You'd like that?"

I nodded and bit my bottom lip. "I like when you talk to me like that… I just like how it makes me feel."

"What does it feel like to you?"

"Like for once, I'm in control of my body and how I want to use it. Like I'm allowing you to make me feel good. Like everything is my choice. Everything, Samirah. All of it."

"It is, baby. That's why I like it, too. It doesn't take away from my adoration of our lovemaking; don't ever confuse it for that." She stroked my cheek and I leaned into it.

"I won't." I turned and kissed her fingers. "How come you wouldn't let me touch you after everything?"

"I don't like getting off in front of other people. I mean, I did, but not actively. I'd rather you touch me in private," she said, and when we rolled to a stop at a red light, she kissed my hand half a dozen times.

"I understand that. You're the only person I've ever been with who I've spoken to so candidly about sex. Every other person I was ever with just…it wasn't anything. This...with you, is everything."

"I feel like that, too." She held her arm to me and I scooted closer to hug her. She kissed my cheek and I released her when the light turned green again. "We still have half an hour to go. Are you hungry?"

"Starving. Can we get egg sandwiches?" I snickered and she nodded, a grin forming on her maroon lips.

"You bet."

"Hoorah."

We arrived at Anita's with fuller bellies, and lighter hearts. Instead of sitting in the car, Sam hung out in the waiting room, and her protectiveness made me feel valued in a different way than I was used to.