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The current status quo couldn’t continue. It wasn’t good for any of them, least of all Rose.
The current status quo also meant that when he was around to share the load, he returned to his home in the next town once the twins were in bed, even though neither twin slept through the night. He’d stayed full time the month after they’d all been discharged from hospital, sleeping in his old room, but then one morning Rose had declared herself recovered from her caesarean and that it would now be better if he slept under his own roof. Knowing how fragile she was, he hadn’t argued. Back then, with newborn twins who refused to sync their feeding or sleeping schedule, he’d only been concerned with getting through each day too, and had agreed to leave on the proviso they employed a nanny to help her. Preferably two. One for each child.
Every nanny interviewed had been rejected. Rose had found fault with each and every one of them. She’d flatly refused a live-in housekeeper to take the domestic burden off her shoulders too, even though she was living in a three-thousand-square-metre, seven-bedroomed house. It had taken weeks of cajoling before she compromised and allowed him to hire a daily cleaner.
He checked the fridge. Empty except for some butter and four made-up bottles of baby milk. It had broken Rose’s heart that all her efforts to breastfeed had proved fruitless.
Josie clocked the bottles and made grabby hands, which Amelia, with the scarily strange telepathy that bound the twins, took as her cue to wake up and start screaming the house down.
Things had to change, he thought grimly, putting a bottle in each of the bottle warmers, and when Rose appeared with Amelia in her arms, he passed her a warmed bottle with a smile as grim as his thoughts.
Yes, things had to change. He’d bent to Rose’s wishes for five months, knowing it would take time for her to recover from the birth and adjust to the seismic shock of the reality of newborn twins.
Luckily, he’d been working on a plan to enact change, and the time to enact it was now. He just needed to tread carefully.
‘You’re back early,’ she said tiredly.
‘Just as well,’ he said, trying not to sound too pointed. ‘What are you planning to feed yourself?’
She pulled a face and raised a shoulder before sinking onto the kitchen sofa and feeding Amelia her bottle. ‘Toast probably. I forgot to order a food delivery.’
He settled Josie in his arms at the kitchen table. ‘Shall I get take-out?’
‘If you like.’
He hated this lethargy. Hated to see her hair lank, unbrushed and bedraggled, her clothes crumpled, her usually bright complexion pasty. Especially hated the dullness in her eyes. She was too thin too. In the last two months, all the baby weight had suddenly fallen off, and he knew it was because she too often forgot to eat. He didn’t know how to approach any of this without sounding like a critical monster. Rose was neglecting herself because all her energy was devoted to their daughters. Whatever state she’d let herself fall into, when it came to their daughters, she really was a superwoman. Their daughters were happy, healthy and thriving under her loving care.
‘Chinese or Thai?’
Another listless rise of the shoulder. ‘How was Paris?’
‘Athens,’ he corrected, then wished he hadn’t when he saw her dismay.
‘Oh. Sorry.’
‘Don’t be. Listen, I have been thinking and I would like to take the girls to Spain. It is time that they got to know the other half of their heritage.’
Even greater dismay rang clear. ‘Not yet, Diaz. It’s too soon.’
He made sure to keep his tone even. ‘Not in the least. The sooner they are introduced to flying, the sooner they will get used to it.’
‘But they’re only five months old,’ she pleaded. ‘They won’t understand any of it. Please, wait a few more months.’
‘Their brains are like sponges.’ Even if they would try and eat an actual sponge if given half a chance. ‘And the sunshine would do us all good.’ This early English summer had, so far, been a wash-out.
‘I know it would but…’ Her eyes filled with tears. ‘I’m not ready to be parted from them yet.’
Her upset set off an ache in his chest, which he smothered by kissing the top of Josie’s sweet little head. ‘I’m not taking them without you,’ he assured her steadily through the thumping of his heart. ‘You’ll be coming with us.’
There was a moment of blankness before comprehension dawned. ‘Oh. I misunderstood.’
‘Rose, I wouldn’t take the girls anywhere without you.’ Even if he wanted to, which he didn’t, it wouldn’t be fair to Rose or the girls. Rose was their world.
Her tear-filled eyes widened until, chin wobbling, she dropped her stare from his and wedged Amelia’s now empty bottle between her thigh and the arm of her chair. After brushing a lock of dirty blonde hair out of her eyes, she moved Amelia onto her lap and began gently patting her back.
He pretended not to notice the effort it took for her to keep the tears at bay. Being a superwoman mother to twin babies came at a price, and the cost for Rose was major sleep deprivation. Safe in her own home, she was too tired to see how exhausted she was.
Her voice not quite steady, she quietly said, ‘If you want us to go to Spain, the girls will need passports.’