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How. When his own mother didn’t even.
“Maybe we have to chalk it up to being one of life’s mysteries.”
“I don’t want to be a mystery,” he said, knowing that he sounded slightly petulant. “I have… I have seen and done so many things. I slept with more women than I can count.”
“I really don’t like it when you say things like that.”
“You have to understand. Why I find it frustrating. I’ve traveled the world, had an enormous amount of sex. I am very famous.”
“Yes, yes,” she said. “And yet, I didn’t recognize you.”
“I didn’t recognize you either,” he said.
And somehow when he said it, it took on a whole different meaning.
“Yes, I know. Because there was no reason for you to.”
He growled.
“You’re in a very bad mood,” she said.
“I’m not. I simply want to understand.”
He didn’t know what was driving him. He didn’t know why he was so desperate. All he knew was that if you didn’t understand, he wouldn’t be able to…trust it. Not it or anything. That was simply how it was.
“You know, I don’t know how other people make these decisions. But I know that I lived through something with you that very few people have ever experienced. And when I didn’t have you, when it had been two weeks and I hadn’t heard from you at all, when I thought you were going to marry somebody else, I was miserable. I miss you. So maybe I can’t say why. And maybe I can’t make you understand. But maybe… Maybe, with all the sex that you had, and all the traveling you’ve done, you have to accept that there are just some mysteries out there that you can’t quantify. Because if you could have, you would have. Right?”
“No,” he growled. “That can’t be true.”
“Adonis, I love you.”
He felt soothed. And yet… And yet.
But he could do nothing but kiss her. Nothing but stop the conversation. Nothing but strip the covers away and decide to make love to her. Because he wanted her. Because he wanted this to go on. Because he didn’t want it to end. Because he was utterly and completely obsessed with her. And obsessed with the fact that she loved him.
He wanted to hoard it. Like a greedy dragon. Hold it in his talons and keep it for himself. He wanted to offer nothing in return, because it made him feel secure. Because it made him feel like he had all the power.
Because it made him feel like he did when he knew he had created a scandal that would be in the headlines worldwide and his mother would have to see it. Yes. It gave him power in the face of love. And all love ever asked of you is that you be weak for it. He refused.
So he kissed her. Made love to her. Until she was crying out his name.
And he decided that everything else could wait. Because tonight he had her. Tonight he had her love. Tonight, he had won.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Adoniswasalwaysa demanding lover, but last night he had kept her up the entire night.
She decided to convalesce in the library, feeling sore and a bit raw. But really, that wasn’t about the sex. It was about the fact that she had told him that she loved him, and he had said nothing at all in return.
It was very lowering.
She was trying to give to him. She was trying to understand him.
But it was difficult. He had been petulant last night, almost. Like a moody child.
But she could see that his desperation to unlock the mystery of her love was very real.
She frowned, as she looked down into her tea. Did he really not understand why somebody might love him? Had his life really been that lonely? That…barren? Perhaps it had been. Perhaps he had never really been…cared for.